Tag: joke

Top Twenty Harry Potter Pickup Lines Joke: List of the 20 Top Harry Potter Pickup Lines

I’ve always had trouble with picking up girls. Whenever I ask one out they always seem to need to do their hair that night or attend some funeral of a distant relative. Eerie, huh? What are the chances that so many girls have such similar schedules…and all seem to have a recently departed great-aunt Margaret? I’m heading for Dragoncon soon though and this time I’m not going to fail! Below is a list of the top twenty (hah! I laugh at your puny top 10 lists) Harry Potter pickup lines. No girl will be able to resist the seductive twist of fandom and come-on…. Wish me luck guys!

  1. If you were a Dementor, I’d become a criminal just to get your kiss.
  2. My name may not be Luna, but I sure know how to Lovegood!
  3. I know we’re not in Professor Flitwick’s class, but you still are charming.
  4. My love for you burns like a dying phoenix.
  5. Being without you is like being afflicted with the Cruciatus Curse.
  6. Hagrid’s not the only giant on campus, if you know what I mean.
  7. Your name must be Severus Severus, because you’re making my prince full blood.
  8. Interested in making some magic together? My wand is at the ready.
  9. I must have had some Felix Felicis, because I think I’m about to get lucky.
  10. Without you I feel like I’m in Azkaban and dementors are sucking away my soul.
  11. If I were to look into the Mirror of Erised, I’d see the two of us together.
  12. You are like a bottle of Skele-Gro: You’re growing me a bone.
  13. You must be magical, because I’ve fallen under your spell.
  14. I’m not wearing an invisibility cloak, but do you think I could still visit your restricted section tonight?
  15. I’d like to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets.
  16. You don’t even have to say “Luminos Maxima” to turn me on!
  17. Have you been using the Petrificus Totalus spell? Because you’ve made me stiff.
  18. Do you want to head to the Shrieking Shack? We could do some shrieking of our own.
  19. Are you using the Confundus charm or are you just naturally mind blowing?
  20. Is that a wand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Page Topic: Top Twenty Harry Potter Pickup Lines Joke

List of Top Ten Reasons to go to Work Naked: Top 10 Reasons to Work Naked Joke

Work can be so tedious. Day in and day out, the same reports, the same tiny cubicle. Icons in cornflower blue and TPS reports. Coming to work naked would definitely spice up the day, wouldn’t it? I wonder if you could get away with it on a Casual Friday. It would have to be on reaaaaaally casual Friday, wouldn’t it? You’d definitely blow that weird guy and his Hawaiian shirts out of the water. That shirt is hideous, isn’t it? On the upside, going to work naked means your shoes match no-matter what you’re not wearing….

1. Your boss is always yelling, “I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!”

2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

3. “I’d love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants.”

4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.

5. You want to see if it’s like the dream.

6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add “Exotic Dancer” to your exaggerated resume.

7. People stop stealing your pens after they’ve seen where you keep them.

8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

9. Gives “bad hair day” a whole new meaning.

10. No one steals your chair.

Page Topic: List of Top Ten Reasons to go to Work Naked Joke

Top Ten Things You Never Hear In Church Joke: List of the Top 10 Things One Never Hears in Church

Zzzzzz….snrk, huh wha? Oh yea ….amen. Church can make me sleepy at times, no offense. I grew up in a religiously church going family (no pun intended) and still go with them when I visit home. I’ve heard practically every variation of a sermon possible at this point and after a while it all just blends together. You can only here so many orations on how to love your neighbor before things fuse. For the life of me though, I swear I’ve never heard any these phrases listed below uttered in the hallowed halls of my local church. They’ve just never come up….

10. Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew.

9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.

8. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

7. I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.

6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.

5. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let’s pay our pastor so he can live like we do.

4. I love it when we sing hymns I’ve never heard before!

3. Since we’re all here, let’s start the service early.

2. Pastor, we’d like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

1. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!

Check out my friend’s bible blog with some cool stuff on it.

Page Topic: List of the Top Ten Things You Never Hear In Church Joke