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Top Twenty Harry Potter Pickup Lines Joke: List of the 20 Top Harry Potter Pickup Lines

I’ve always had trouble with picking up girls. Whenever I ask one out they always seem to need to do their hair that night or attend some funeral of a distant relative. Eerie, huh? What are the chances that so many girls have such similar schedules…and all seem to have a recently departed great-aunt Margaret? I’m heading for Dragoncon soon though and this time I’m not going to fail! Below is a list of the top twenty (hah! I laugh at your puny top 10 lists) Harry Potter pickup lines. No girl will be able to resist the seductive twist of fandom and come-on…. Wish me luck guys!

  1. If you were a Dementor, I’d become a criminal just to get your kiss.
  2. My name may not be Luna, but I sure know how to Lovegood!
  3. I know we’re not in Professor Flitwick’s class, but you still are charming.
  4. My love for you burns like a dying phoenix.
  5. Being without you is like being afflicted with the Cruciatus Curse.
  6. Hagrid’s not the only giant on campus, if you know what I mean.
  7. Your name must be Severus Severus, because you’re making my prince full blood.
  8. Interested in making some magic together? My wand is at the ready.
  9. I must have had some Felix Felicis, because I think I’m about to get lucky.
  10. Without you I feel like I’m in Azkaban and dementors are sucking away my soul.
  11. If I were to look into the Mirror of Erised, I’d see the two of us together.
  12. You are like a bottle of Skele-Gro: You’re growing me a bone.
  13. You must be magical, because I’ve fallen under your spell.
  14. I’m not wearing an invisibility cloak, but do you think I could still visit your restricted section tonight?
  15. I’d like to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets.
  16. You don’t even have to say “Luminos Maxima” to turn me on!
  17. Have you been using the Petrificus Totalus spell? Because you’ve made me stiff.
  18. Do you want to head to the Shrieking Shack? We could do some shrieking of our own.
  19. Are you using the Confundus charm or are you just naturally mind blowing?
  20. Is that a wand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

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27 Responses to “Top Twenty Harry Potter Pickup Lines Joke: List of the 20 Top Harry Potter Pickup Lines””

  1. Anonymous Says:
    November 8th, 2009 at 9:30 am

    i may be in griffindor but you can slytherin me anyday

  2. fbhafd Says:
    December 12th, 2009 at 10:11 am

    she was just myrtle before i came along

  3. katyyyyy Says:
    June 21st, 2010 at 11:06 am

    are you a dementor, coz you just took my breath away

  4. katyyyyy Says:
    June 21st, 2010 at 11:07 am

    hey malfoy, your bed looks warm, can i slytherinnn?

  5. Stefanie Says:
    July 5th, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! These would totally work on me, i’m sorry to say.

  6. priya Says:
    August 11th, 2010 at 6:42 pm

    omg, even if some of these are pretty provocative, if a guy made the effort to use hp allusions on me, i would fall for him regardless hahaha

  7. Corselli Says:
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:06 pm

    My favorite for sure (and the one I would fall for the most) is #1. Here are the other one’s I would be totally fine with: 1, 3, 4, 5, 9, 10,11, 13, and 19. Mostly because I would be offended if someone came up to me and said a sexual pick up line.

    But #1 and #19 are my favorites for sure =D

  8. Spam Says:
    November 18th, 2010 at 10:46 pm

    Will you open up your chamber of secrets so i can slytherin?

  9. kaytie Says:
    November 21st, 2010 at 1:21 am

    bwahahaha!…really really good

  10. dylan Says:
    December 3rd, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    Hey Hermoine you no what elese is 9 3/4?

  11. Anonymous Says:
    January 6th, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    Follow the spiders into my forbidden forest

  12. Anonymous Says:
    January 17th, 2011 at 9:55 pm

    Hahaha love that one about the basiisk and Chamber of Secrets… have to say I’d probably fall for most of them, with a few exeptions (I’d probably just get offended with the sexual ones… of course apart from number number 15 because its just so funny!!!)

  13. Libb Says:
    January 19th, 2011 at 6:14 am

    These would so work on me.

  14. emma Says:
    January 22nd, 2011 at 10:11 pm

    i hate the sexual ones, and i wouldn’t like it if some guy said that to me.
    on the other hand, i’d definitely fall for the guy who said 1 or 11. those are really sweet.

  15. Anonymous Says:
    February 9th, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    four is amazazing and I would def. fall for it in a heartbeat

  16. Anne Says:
    February 13th, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    I’ll Slytherin your Chamber of Secrets and make you Moan like Myrtle.

  17. Jessica Morley Says:
    February 15th, 2011 at 11:26 am

    Open your chamber of secrets, and i’ll slytherin ;) <3

    I gotta say, the sexual ones are my favourite:L

  18. Kirsty and Helen Says:
    March 2nd, 2011 at 9:32 am

    Grab your cloak, youve pulled ;)

  19. Dani Says:
    March 23rd, 2011 at 8:15 pm

    If anyone accually used these on me… I think I’d fall for them simply cuz they made a refference to Harry Potter…

  20. Valerie Says:
    April 3rd, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    Baha these’re brilliant. I reckon 1 and 19 would be total winners for me and most girls who’ve read Harry Potter!! 4 would be a bit creepy for a pickup line… but I guess if you’ve been dating for ages and wanted to remind someone of how you first picked them up – brilliant haha.

    But yeah, the sexual ones just wouldn’t sit well with me as a pickup line.. maybe after dating, otherwise they come on as creepy =/

  21. Andrew Says:
    April 6th, 2011 at 7:55 am

    Are you a Nimbus 2000? Because I wanna ride you.

  22. kathy Says:
    April 9th, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    these would work on me! but not the sexual ones. Here’s one “Is your name Oliver Wood because your a keeper.”

  23. Flora and Harry Says:
    April 16th, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    Do you speak parsel tongue because my snake would really like to meet you.

  24. Anonymous Says:
    April 30th, 2011 at 3:19 am

    D’ya wanna be my dumblewhore?

  25. Aubri Says:
    July 11th, 2011 at 7:12 pm

    LMFAO’d at number 4 xDD

  26. Soph Says:
    July 17th, 2011 at 10:24 am

    Im going to make you scream like a mandrake

  27. Emma Says:
    July 19th, 2011 at 11:45 am

    hahahaha. i love them! but hey, was does slytherin mean on english? i’m from Denmark, and i have never heard that word in that way. And I can’t find it in a dictionary (maybe there’s a reason, hehe.)But does it just mean to, you know, “have sex”?

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