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Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson Giving free “Just Chill” concert for Global Warming

April 1, 2008 

In a surprise news conference, Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears announced they will be having a free concert in Los Angeles on July 1st, called the “Just Chill” Concert, to bring attention to Global Warming.

Here is a transcript of their brief press conference  yesterday in Los Angeles about the event.

Jessica Simpson:  Hi y’all. Thanks for coming today.  So we have a big announcement we’re all real excited about.  For the first time, like ever,  all three of us are gonna have a big free concert on July 1st, to help fight global warming.

Paris Hilton: That’s right, and we’re calling it the “Open Your Fridge and Just Chill” concert.  Or “Just Chill” for short.  And we are asking like totally everybody to open their fridge and leave it wide open for the whole concert.

Britney Spears: Yeah, it’s gonna be really awesome.  This is a cause that all three of us really care about. I mean, all of us are sick and tired of how hot and icky and sweaty it can get in the summer.

Paris: So totally.  And July is one of the hottest months in the whole summer!

Britney: Yeah so we’re gonna see if we can reduce global warming, especially here in Los Angeles. 

Jessica. Right, And if everyone leaves their fridge open for the whole concert, we are guessing we could lower the temperature that day in Los Angeles by like one or two degrees at least!

Paris: Yeah, and also we’re gonna like release a ton of big balloons to help block the sun. And also the conert is gonna be free for everyone that brings ice.  So we’re gonna have all this ice, all these open fridges and also like we’re gonna ask peole to leave their fridges open all over the world. From like the richest countries all the way to the poorest countries. So it’s gonna  really help chill global warming.  It’s kinda amazing no one came up with this before.

Jessica. Yeah, it’s gonna be sweet. And we’re gonna have someone like MTV or HBO or whatever broadcast it live, but only to houses that have their fridges open.  And we’re all gonna sing  like some of our most popular songs- well Paris just has one, but she’ll sing it like 3 times probably. I guess you’d call it singing. But yeah  like I’m gonna sing like “These Boots are Made for Walking” except change it to something like “this Earth is made for opening your fridge to help chill out global warming” or something. My writers haven’t really gotten back to me yet, but it’s gonna rock.

Britney: So yeah, that’s really all we wanted to announce.  I mean we just came up with this last night when we ran into each other at a club, but we’re excited! It’s gonna be so cool. And we will like keep on adding cool stuff too. Like I was thinking we shouldn’t let anyone into the concert if they are wearing black because that will just make the Earth hotter. 

Paris: Right, totally. And you know, we should even like just paint the Earth white- like the whole thing- rocks and deserts and forests and grass- because that will keep things a lot cooler.  And maybe we even start planting white crops like popcorn. And I totally hate popcorn because it gets stuck in your teeth sometimes and you spend hours like trying to get it out with your tongue, but we all have to make sacrifices to stop global warming in this town.  OK my puppy has to pee so that’s it.

 Jessica: Thanks everyone.  We’ll see y’all at the Just Chill concert.

(C) InnocentEnglish 2008

Funny Celebrity Bloopers, Slips, Stories & Confessions of Most Embarrassing Moments

 

 

These are a few of the best funny celebrity bloopers, slips and stories:

 

 

One day on the set of Tomorrow Never Dies, Pierce Brosnan confronted Teri Hatcher about her tardiness. “I let slip a few words which weren’t very nice,” he recalled. Only later did he learn why Teri was late: she was suffering from morning sickness.
Despite valiant efforts to meet expectations, Pierce has not always been as suave as his famous celluloid incarnation. After stopping at a newsstand to buy some gum one day, Pierce said hello to a group of tourists who seemed to believe that he was really James Bond. Then he hopped into his shiny new Porsche convertible – his shiny new standard Porsche convertible. “I’m trying to be cool and start the bloody car,” he recalled, “and I stall it!”

Regis Philbin enjoyed his role as a reporter, even during its darker moments. He once succumbed to a curious case of “corpsing” (a form of hysteria in which an actor or broadcaster breaks into fits of uncontrollable laugher at inappropriate, often serious, moments). One day in the early 1960s, Regis found himself reporting a train wreck in the Alps. “I went on,” he later recalled, “and said, ‘Well, there was a train wreck – hahahahahahaha!’”

Artist of the Millennium: At one point during the 2002 MTV Video Music Awards (broadcast live from New York’s Radio City Music Hall), Britney Spears invited 44-year-old Michael Jackson onto the stage to present him with a birthday cake. In her estimation, Britney declared, Michael was the artist of the millennium. Unfortunately, Michael mistook Britney’s informal introduction for something rather more official: “When I was a little boy growing up in Indiana,” he told the star-studded audience and millions of viewers around the globe, “if someone told me I’d be getting the Artist of the Millennium award, I’d never have believed it!” “There is no such award as the Artist of the Millennium,” an MTV spokeswoman later explained. “I think some wires got crossed.” Among those whom Michael thanked before being ushered from the stage? God, his parents – and street magician David Blaine.

With his first solo album, Blizzard of Ozz (1980), tearing up the charts, Ozzy Osbourne staged his first big arena show in Los Angeles. Among the stage props, Ozzy recalled, was “this f***ing giant hand.” The hand held a catapult which, when properly loaded, launched raw meat into the audience. It was so cool that the crew played with it for several hours. Naturally, after working all day it failed to work properly during the concert. “The elastic wasn’t as springy,” Ozzy recalled. The upshot? When Ozzy stepped on the lever, “several f***ing pounds of offal” were launched… directly onto Ozzy’s head.

“I fall a lot,” Sandra Bullock once remarked, “and I do it well!” She certainly had a lot of practice. Sandra acquired the scar on her forehead (above her right eye) at age 11, after taking a tumble into a creek. One day on the set of The Thing Called Love (1993), she broke her nose (for the second time) and could not be filmed face-on for a week. The capper? In March 2001, Sandra attended the London premiere of Donald Petrie’s Miss Congeniality, in which she plays the lovably clumsy Gracie Hart. Fittingly, Sandra walked onto the red carpet, took a few steps, and, to the amusement of the assembled crowd, tripped on her gown and fell flat on her face.

On the set of Pearl Harbor (2001), Kate Beckinsale, James King, Catherine Kellner, Jennifer Garner, and Sara Rue (all playing nurses) were known as “the gaggle.” One day, director Michael Bay arranged the gaggle on the deck of a battleship for a sweeping panoramic shot. As he trained his camera upon the girls, a helicopter flew by for an aerial shot, creating a powerful gust which, to the delight of hundreds of observers (including the crew of neighboring military vessels), blew the girls’ skirts up into their faces. “Nobody was wearing underwear,” Catherine recalled, “so they all got a good view of our [butts] and garter belts.” After the incident, Kate turned to Catherine. “I shall always remember this,” she dryly intoned, “as the day I lost my mystery.” there must be pics or videos of this slip somewhere…

During a BBC interview with Ruby Wax at London’s posh Dorchester Hotel one day, Jim Carrey decided to impress his guest by demonstrating the classic “tablecloth trick.” With lightning speed, Jim yanked the cloth from the cluttered table – and watched, apparently stupefied, as an expensive tea service went crashing to the floor. “I’ve never seen a room trashed like that in my life,” Wax reported. “He spent a lot of time on his knees cleaning up, and apologizing.” The BBC graciously accepted Jim’s apology and paid for the damage.

Halle Berry reportedly got a $500,000 bonus for her much-ballyhooed, first-ever topless nude scene in Dominic Sena’s Swordfish (2001).She denied that, so we may never know for certain… But we do know Jay Leno got an unscripted sneak peek when she was a guest on “The Tonight Show” shortly before the film’s release. Thanks to her plunging neckline, Halle revealed more to her host than she had planned in an unplanned celebrity slip up. “My problem is, I’ve never sat down in this dress,” she said, attempting to cover herself. Leno’s impromptu reply? “My problem is, I can’t stand up!” This was only one of Halle Berry’s accidental flashing slip bloopers. In high school she jumped out of the pool after a dive, not realizing until everyone was staring at her that her bikini top had fallen off. And during catwoman, the costume had several wardrobe malfunction accidents….

While campaigning in 2003, Arnold Schwarzenegger – who supported 1994’s notorious Proposition 187 (a ballot initiative which, before its rejection by the courts, cut off social benefits to undocumented aliens and barred their children from public schools) – was asked to clarify his views on immigration and Latinos (who comprised ten per cent of the electorate but a third of the state’s population). In particular, Arnold was asked why he had denounced a bill (passed by the California legislature) making undocumented aliens eligible for driver’s licenses. “Everyone knows what I stand for,” Arnie replied. “I want to reach out to Latinos, and not just because of the vote. It’s not all about votes. It’s like, you know, that I feel sad by this situation, that someone is trying to make me look like I am anti-Latino, when I’ve done four movies in Mexico…”

“Hey, I’m just doing my job. It’s our job to nip at the heals of celebrities until one slips. They can’t have it both ways. If they want to be rich and famous, they gotta put up with us stalking them. We take pics and they get publicity hits. It’s how this business works. We catch ’em naked and unexpected. We nip till they slip. So I’m just doing my job!”
– A paparazzi photographer, justifying to police his right to climb over the wall of a celebrity home to take pictures of an undisclosed actress swimming nude in her pool. (He was taken in, paid a small fine and was released immediately).

Thanks to J. Julian Payne, of www.anecdotage.com/v1. Most of these stories can be found in her book Celebrity Anecdotes: Funny Stories About the Stars. available in bookstores and online.

 

 

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