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Funny Celebrity Bloopers, Slips, Stories & Confessions of Most Embarrassing Moments

 

 

These are a few of the best funny celebrity bloopers, slips and stories:

 

 

One day on the set of Tomorrow Never Dies, Pierce Brosnan confronted Teri Hatcher about her tardiness. “I let slip a few words which weren’t very nice,” he recalled. Only later did he learn why Teri was late: she was suffering from morning sickness.
Despite valiant efforts to meet expectations, Pierce has not always been as suave as his famous celluloid incarnation. After stopping at a newsstand to buy some gum one day, Pierce said hello to a group of tourists who seemed to believe that he was really James Bond. Then he hopped into his shiny new Porsche convertible – his shiny new standard Porsche convertible. “I’m trying to be cool and start the bloody car,” he recalled, “and I stall it!”

Regis Philbin enjoyed his role as a reporter, even during its darker moments. He once succumbed to a curious case of “corpsing” (a form of hysteria in which an actor or broadcaster breaks into fits of uncontrollable laugher at inappropriate, often serious, moments). One day in the early 1960s, Regis found himself reporting a train wreck in the Alps. “I went on,” he later recalled, “and said, ‘Well, there was a train wreck – hahahahahahaha!’”

Artist of the Millennium: At one point during the 2002 MTV Video Music Awards (broadcast live from New York’s Radio City Music Hall), Britney Spears invited 44-year-old Michael Jackson onto the stage to present him with a birthday cake. In her estimation, Britney declared, Michael was the artist of the millennium. Unfortunately, Michael mistook Britney’s informal introduction for something rather more official: “When I was a little boy growing up in Indiana,” he told the star-studded audience and millions of viewers around the globe, “if someone told me I’d be getting the Artist of the Millennium award, I’d never have believed it!” “There is no such award as the Artist of the Millennium,” an MTV spokeswoman later explained. “I think some wires got crossed.” Among those whom Michael thanked before being ushered from the stage? God, his parents – and street magician David Blaine.

With his first solo album, Blizzard of Ozz (1980), tearing up the charts, Ozzy Osbourne staged his first big arena show in Los Angeles. Among the stage props, Ozzy recalled, was “this f***ing giant hand.” The hand held a catapult which, when properly loaded, launched raw meat into the audience. It was so cool that the crew played with it for several hours. Naturally, after working all day it failed to work properly during the concert. “The elastic wasn’t as springy,” Ozzy recalled. The upshot? When Ozzy stepped on the lever, “several f***ing pounds of offal” were launched… directly onto Ozzy’s head.

“I fall a lot,” Sandra Bullock once remarked, “and I do it well!” She certainly had a lot of practice. Sandra acquired the scar on her forehead (above her right eye) at age 11, after taking a tumble into a creek. One day on the set of The Thing Called Love (1993), she broke her nose (for the second time) and could not be filmed face-on for a week. The capper? In March 2001, Sandra attended the London premiere of Donald Petrie’s Miss Congeniality, in which she plays the lovably clumsy Gracie Hart. Fittingly, Sandra walked onto the red carpet, took a few steps, and, to the amusement of the assembled crowd, tripped on her gown and fell flat on her face.

On the set of Pearl Harbor (2001), Kate Beckinsale, James King, Catherine Kellner, Jennifer Garner, and Sara Rue (all playing nurses) were known as “the gaggle.” One day, director Michael Bay arranged the gaggle on the deck of a battleship for a sweeping panoramic shot. As he trained his camera upon the girls, a helicopter flew by for an aerial shot, creating a powerful gust which, to the delight of hundreds of observers (including the crew of neighboring military vessels), blew the girls’ skirts up into their faces. “Nobody was wearing underwear,” Catherine recalled, “so they all got a good view of our [butts] and garter belts.” After the incident, Kate turned to Catherine. “I shall always remember this,” she dryly intoned, “as the day I lost my mystery.” there must be pics or videos of this slip somewhere…

During a BBC interview with Ruby Wax at London’s posh Dorchester Hotel one day, Jim Carrey decided to impress his guest by demonstrating the classic “tablecloth trick.” With lightning speed, Jim yanked the cloth from the cluttered table – and watched, apparently stupefied, as an expensive tea service went crashing to the floor. “I’ve never seen a room trashed like that in my life,” Wax reported. “He spent a lot of time on his knees cleaning up, and apologizing.” The BBC graciously accepted Jim’s apology and paid for the damage.

Halle Berry reportedly got a $500,000 bonus for her much-ballyhooed, first-ever topless nude scene in Dominic Sena’s Swordfish (2001).She denied that, so we may never know for certain… But we do know Jay Leno got an unscripted sneak peek when she was a guest on “The Tonight Show” shortly before the film’s release. Thanks to her plunging neckline, Halle revealed more to her host than she had planned in an unplanned celebrity slip up. “My problem is, I’ve never sat down in this dress,” she said, attempting to cover herself. Leno’s impromptu reply? “My problem is, I can’t stand up!” This was only one of Halle Berry’s accidental flashing slip bloopers. In high school she jumped out of the pool after a dive, not realizing until everyone was staring at her that her bikini top had fallen off. And during catwoman, the costume had several wardrobe malfunction accidents….

While campaigning in 2003, Arnold Schwarzenegger – who supported 1994’s notorious Proposition 187 (a ballot initiative which, before its rejection by the courts, cut off social benefits to undocumented aliens and barred their children from public schools) – was asked to clarify his views on immigration and Latinos (who comprised ten per cent of the electorate but a third of the state’s population). In particular, Arnold was asked why he had denounced a bill (passed by the California legislature) making undocumented aliens eligible for driver’s licenses. “Everyone knows what I stand for,” Arnie replied. “I want to reach out to Latinos, and not just because of the vote. It’s not all about votes. It’s like, you know, that I feel sad by this situation, that someone is trying to make me look like I am anti-Latino, when I’ve done four movies in Mexico…”

“Hey, I’m just doing my job. It’s our job to nip at the heals of celebrities until one slips. They can’t have it both ways. If they want to be rich and famous, they gotta put up with us stalking them. We take pics and they get publicity hits. It’s how this business works. We catch ’em naked and unexpected. We nip till they slip. So I’m just doing my job!”
– A paparazzi photographer, justifying to police his right to climb over the wall of a celebrity home to take pictures of an undisclosed actress swimming nude in her pool. (He was taken in, paid a small fine and was released immediately).

Thanks to J. Julian Payne, of www.anecdotage.com/v1. Most of these stories can be found in her book Celebrity Anecdotes: Funny Stories About the Stars. available in bookstores and online.

 

 

Page Topic: Funny Celebrity Bloopers, Slips, Stories

 

 

Funny Celebrity Bloopers, Slips and Quotes

 

 

Some of the funniest celebrity bloopers and quotes:

 

 

Classic Arnold: “The difference between Sly Stallone and me is I am me and he is him.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger


Honorary Doctorate: “I have an honorary doctorate at, uh.. oh god, where is it, some college [the University of Massachusetts at Amherst].” – Kelsey Grammer, asked on a talk show if he was really a doctor.


Up & Down: “I’ve been up and down so many times that I feel as if I’m in a revolving door.” – Cher


Versatile Thinker: “I can play in the center, on the right, and occasionally on the left side.” – soccer star David Beckham, asked if he was a “volatile” player.


Bang Bang: “I kept saying ‘Bang, bang!’ and they kept having to cut.” – Colin Farrell on American Outlaws (2001).


Resident Physician: “Baywatch Medical School? … Once I saw her picture, I didn’t need to see her resume!” – Donald Trump, asked where his Mar-a-Lago club’s resident physician, Dr. Ginger Lea Southall, had done her chiropractic training.


Tiger Who? Tiger Woods was once introduced to pop doyenne Christina Aguilera. “Oh, Christina, I love your music,” Tiger told her. “I have all your CDs.” Christina’s reply? “Sorry, I don’t know much about you. I don’t follow tennis.”


Golden Insult: “I feel like this is a dream – and I apologize for how I dressed some of you.” – Ray Romano accepting a best actor award at the 2000 Golden Globes.


Helpful Tip? “Try not to talk too much.” – Simon Cowell offering fellow “American Idol” judge Paula Abdul some dating advice
Strange Compliment: “They’re wonderful. Which one’s your Mom?” – Robin Williams after local San Francisco celebrity Strange de Jim showed him a picture of his parents.


Faith and Devotion: “I appreciate intelligence, faithfulness and devotion in a man.” – Playmate Victoria Zdrok explaining why she would never date Donald Trump again


Apprentice Golfer: In July 2004, shortly after the debut of “The Apprentice,” Donald Trump played in a celebrity golf tournament. To the amusement of the gallery, he missed an easy putt on the very first hole. The gallery’s response? “They just stood up,” Carson Daly later recalled, “and screamed, ‘You’re fired!’”


The Handshake: Shortly after the release of Die Another Day (2002), Pierce Brosnan visited a Dublin bar to enjoy a quiet pint while he waited to have his bicycle fixed. After settling in to watch a horse race, Pierce was approached by a fellow patron who asked if he could shake his hand. Pierce graciously agreed. After shaking, the man examined his hand with a glint in his eye. “This,” he explained, “is the closest I’ll ever get to Halle Berry’s arse!”


Laughter Lines: While attending a party one evening, Mick Jagger was introduced to jazz singer George Melly. “I didn’t expect you to have so many wrinkles,” Melly remarked. “They’re not wrinkles,” Mick declared. “They’re laughter lines.” “Really?” Melly replied. “Surely nothing could be that funny!”


Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.”
– Miss Alabama, 1994 Miss USA Pageant


“Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researches also discovered other similarities between the two, but can’t remember what they are.”
– Mat Lauer, Today Show, NBC


“I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.”
– David Dinkins, New York City Mayor answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.


“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”
– Brooke Shields


“We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.”
– Jason Kidd, Dallas Mavericks
(more sports quotes)


“China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.”
– Charles De Gaulle, former French President


“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”
– Marion Barry, Washing, D.C. Mayor


“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
– Dan Quayle, U.S. Vice President


Dwight Eisenhower put it, “things are more like they are now than they ever were before.”


“You can’t just let nature run wild,” said former Governor of Alaska Wally Hickel.


“The internet is a great way to get on the net.”
– Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate


“I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.”
– Britney Spears, Pop Singer


“Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, ‘Thank God, I’m still alive.’ But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.” California Senator Barbara Boxer.


“I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn’t study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.” Dan Quayle


In an address to the NAACP (whose slogan is “A mind is a terrible thing to waste”), however, he put his very consciousness in doubt with the message, “what a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.”


“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” – Mariah Carey


“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” – Brooke Shields.


“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.” – Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.


“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.” – Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.


“We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.” – Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks.


“That scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it.” – A congressional candidate in Texas.


“Half this game is ninety per cent mental.” – Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager


“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.” – Al Gore, former Vice President


“I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.” – Dan Quayle, former Vice President


“Hey, I’m just doing my job. It’s our job to nip at the heals of celebrities until one slips. They can’t have it both ways. If they want to be rich and famous, they gotta put up with us stalking them. We take celeb pics and they get publicity hits. It’s how this business works. We catch ’em naked and unexpected. So I’m just doing my job!”
– A paparazzi photographer, justifying to police his right to climb over the wall of a celebrity home to take pictures of an undisclosed actress swimming nude in her pool. (He was taken in, paid a small fine and was released immediately).


Thanks to J. Julian Payne, of www.anecdotage.com/v1, for some of the above quotes and stories, which can be found in her book of funny celebrity slips Celebrity Anecdotes: Funny Stories About the Stars. available in bookstores and online.

 

 

Page Topic: Funny Celebrity Bloopers