April 1, 2008Â
In a surprise news conference, Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears announced they will be having a free concert in Los Angeles on July 1st, called the “Just Chill†Concert, to bring attention to Global Warming.
Here is a transcript of their brief press conference yesterday in Los Angeles about the event.
Jessica Simpson: Hi y’all. Thanks for coming today. So we have a big announcement we’re all real excited about. For the first time, like ever, all three of us are gonna have a big free concert on July 1st, to help fight global warming.
Paris Hilton: That’s right, and we’re calling it the “Open Your Fridge and Just Chill†concert. Or “Just Chill†for short. And we are asking like totally everybody to open their fridge and leave it wide open for the whole concert.
Britney Spears: Yeah, it’s gonna be really awesome. This is a cause that all three of us really care about. I mean, all of us are sick and tired of how hot and icky and sweaty it can get in the summer.
Paris: So totally. And July is one of the hottest months in the whole summer!
Britney: Yeah so we’re gonna see if we can reduce global warming, especially here in Los Angeles.Â
Jessica. Right, And if everyone leaves their fridge open for the whole concert, we are guessing we could lower the temperature that day in Los Angeles by like one or two degrees at least!
Paris: Yeah, and also we’re gonna like release a ton of big balloons to help block the sun. And also the conert is gonna be free for everyone that brings ice. So we’re gonna have all this ice, all these open fridges and also like we’re gonna ask peole to leave their fridges open all over the world. From like the richest countries all the way to the poorest countries. So it’s gonna really help chill global warming. It’s kinda amazing no one came up with this before.
Jessica. Yeah, it’s gonna be sweet. And we’re gonna have someone like MTV or HBO or whatever broadcast it live, but only to houses that have their fridges open. And we’re all gonna sing like some of our most popular songs- well Paris just has one, but she’ll sing it like 3 times probably. I guess you’d call it singing. But yeah like I’m gonna sing like “These Boots are Made for Walking†except change it to something like “this Earth is made for opening your fridge to help chill out global warming†or something. My writers haven’t really gotten back to me yet, but it’s gonna rock.
Britney: So yeah, that’s really all we wanted to announce. I mean we just came up with this last night when we ran into each other at a club, but we’re excited! It’s gonna be so cool. And we will like keep on adding cool stuff too. Like I was thinking we shouldn’t let anyone into the concert if they are wearing black because that will just make the Earth hotter.Â
Paris: Right, totally. And you know, we should even like just paint the Earth white- like the whole thing- rocks and deserts and forests and grass- because that will keep things a lot cooler. And maybe we even start planting white crops like popcorn. And I totally hate popcorn because it gets stuck in your teeth sometimes and you spend hours like trying to get it out with your tongue, but we all have to make sacrifices to stop global warming in this town. OK my puppy has to pee so that’s it.
 Jessica: Thanks everyone. We’ll see y’all at the Just Chill concert.
(C) InnocentEnglish 2008
