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Tag: funny celebrity quotes

Celebrity Oops

Here are some of the most famous celeb oops moments ever recorded… Jessica Simpson, Brittney Spears and a lot more. Some of the funniest and most embarrassing celebrity oops moments are here.

 

 

Celebrity Oops:

 

“I’m not anorexic. I’m from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I’ve never heard of one. And that includes me.” — Jessica Simpson

“Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it’s tuna but it says chicken of the sea.” — Jessica Simpson

“I’m sounding worse than Jessica Simpson right now. She’s looking like a rock scientist.” — Tara Reid

“I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.” — Arnold Schwarzenegger

“I’m so smart now. Everyone’s always like ‘take your top off.’ Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I’m not stupid.” — Paris Hilton

“On my first day of Jr. High I was in Geography class, and the teacher asked us if anybody knew the names of the continents. And I was sooo excited. I was like, Damnit! It’s my first day of 7th grade, Im in jr high and i know this answer. So i raised my hand I was the first one and I said A-E-I-O-U!” – Jessica Simpson

“What’s Wal-Mart? Do they sell, like wall stuff?” — Paris Hilton

“If you have intercourse you run the risk of dying and the ramifications of death are final.” — Cyndi Lauper

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost an important part of your life.” — Brooke Shields

“It’s really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.” — Axl Rose

“I’d rather be dead than singing Satisfaction when I’m forty-five.” — Mick Jagger

“Listening to a woman is almost as bad as losing to one. There are only three things that women are better at than men: cleaning, cooking, and having sex.” — Charles Barkley

“If there is one word to describe Atlantic City, it’s Big Business.” — Donald Trump

“I was asked to come to Chicago because Chicago is one of our fifty-two states.” — Racquel Welch

“I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.” — Britney Spears

“I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.” — Britney Spears

“So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?” — Christina Aguilera

“I’ve got taste. It’s inbred in me.” — David Hasselhoff


Page topic: Celebrity Oops: Most embarrassing quotes and moments of celebs

Funny Celebrity Quotes: Great Lines from Celebrities and Famous People

 

 

Here are some funny celebrity quotes

 

 

When I was growing up, there were two things that were unpopular in my house. One was me, and the other was my guitar
Bruce Springsteen

Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternatives. Maurice Chevalier

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.
Lucille Ball

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning and that’s the best they are going to feel all day.
Frank Sinatra

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth. George Burns

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. Charles Lamb

Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially legal tender. Kay Ingram

Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. David Frost

There are three ways to get something done; do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it. Mona Crane

I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like ‘What I’m going to be if I grow up.’ Lenny Bruce

Bessie Braddock to Winston Churchill: Winston, you’re drunk.
Churchill: Bessie, you’re ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober.

It’s better to be looked over than overlooked. Mae West

My wife is a sex object – every time I ask for sex, she objects. Les Dawson

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. George Bernard Shaw

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. Charlotte Whitton

I never hated a man enough to give him diamonds back. Zsa Zsa Gabor

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. Spike Milligan

I’m not feeling very well – I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. Groucho Marx

A good sermon should be like a woman’s skirt: short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials. Ronald Knox

Always be sincere, even if you don’t mean it. Harry S. Truman

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Mark Twain

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is just putting on its shoes. Mark Twain

When I’m good, I’m very, very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better. Mae West

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Mae West

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. W.C. Fields

I’ve had a wonderful evening – but this wasn’t it. Groucho Marx

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times. Mark Twain

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall. Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s not true I had nothing on. I had the radio on. Marilyn Monroe, asked if she really had nothing on in a calendar photograph

Chanel No. 5. Marilyn Monroe, asked what she wore in bed

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
Billy Crystal

Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die.
Carmen Boyle Olympic Luge Gold Medal winner – 1996

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.
Sharon Stone

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you have got it made.
Groucho Marx

There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane:
Either you have diarrhea, or you’re eager to meet people who do.
Henry Kissenger former US Secretary of State

My girlfriend always laughs during sex no matter what she’s reading.
Steve Jobs Founder: Apple Computers

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course,
men are just grateful.
Robert De Niro

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
Elizabeth Taylor

There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men
think, I know what I’m doing. Just show me somebody naked.
Jerry Seinfield

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find some woman I really don’t like and just give her a house.
Rod Stewart

 

 

Page Topic: Funny Celebrity Quotes

 

 

Funny bloopers and quotes of politicians and celebrities

 

 

Here are some funny bloopers and quotes from famous politicians and celebrities:

 

 

“I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.”
David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

“They gave me a book of checks. They didn’t ask for any deposits.”
Congressman Joe Early (D-Mass) at a press conference to answer questions about the House Bank Scandal.

“He didn’t say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.”
Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn’t following up on his campaign pledge that there would be no loss of wetlands.

“It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.”
John Hogan, Commonwealth Edison Supervisor of News Information, responding to a charge by a Nuclear Regulatory Commission inspector that two Dresden Nuclear Plant operators were sleeping on the job.

“I didn’t accept it. I received it.”
Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he helped arrange a private interview for them with First Lady Nancy Reagan.

“I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was doing spying.”
Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an interview after he was returned to the US.

“I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.”
President Richard Nixon

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”
Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.”
Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”
Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC

“Sure, it’s going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.”
Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board, on chlordane.

“Are you any relation to your brother Marv?”
Leon Wood, New Jersey Nets guard, to Steve Albert, Nets TV commentator.

“Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued … Reason: it has been reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.”
Letter from the Illinois Department of Public Aid

“In the early sixties, we were strong, we were virulent…”
John Connally, Secretary of Treasury under Richard Nixon, in an early seventies speech, as reported in a contemporary “American Scholar”.

“Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself.”
Chicago Rotary Club journal, “Gyrator”.

“The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It’s only the people who make them unsafe.”
Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia.

“I’ve always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.”
Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries.

“The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry inspector.”
Knight Ridder News Service dispatch

“After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.”
Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington Rhode Island.

“The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.”
Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.

 

 

Page Topic: Funny bloopers and quotes