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Paris Hilton Jokes: Paris Quotes from Jail | 12 things overheard by other inmates

Paris Hilton Jokes and Quotes:

Here are 12 things other inmates have overheard Paris Hilton say in Jail:

1. Excuse me, but where is the Starbucks?
2. Is this pork chop and mashed potato stew diet?
3. Could you put those handcuffs on me again? It makes me feel like I’m in my own bed.
4. Wow. This is so like totally not like Daddy’s hotel. Big frown!
5. Can’t I have my dog here with me? He was driving drunk too!
6. Do you have anything else I can wear? This uniform makes me look so non-anorexic.
7. Wait! When I checked “no” about the conjugal visits, it was because I like TOTALLY thought it meant I had to meet with a grammar tutor.
8. Hey, why is there a bed in this disgusting little bathroom? And where is the rest of my cell?
9. You’ll silence Sarah Silverman for how much again?
10. Yes, can you tell me where I book a pedicure and a Brazilian? And would you mind if I brought in my people for it? No offense, but I would never want a stranger to see me down there!
11. Wow, so you’re like a criminal? You’re like the third one I met today!
12. Dear Mr. Diary. I’m going to write three letters to the judge and see if that helps: WTF?

Paris Hilton Jokes: Funny things overheard in Jail is copyright InnocentEnglish.com June 8, 2007

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28 Responses to “Paris Hilton Jokes: Paris Quotes from Jail | 12 things overheard by other inmates””

  1. Anonymous Says:
    April 14th, 2008 at 5:59 pm

    those are mean. paris is a notable person.

  2. Anonymous Says:
    April 21st, 2008 at 5:09 am

    thats even funnier

  3. Michelle Says:
    August 26th, 2008 at 10:20 am

    That’s not funny. She’s a great person and I learned alot from her..

  4. WakeUpMichelle Says:
    August 28th, 2008 at 7:19 pm

    “She’s a great person and I learned alot from her..” Now THAT’S scary. Let me guess…you’re also a Democrat and thing Lindsay Lohan is a brilliant actor.

  5. Emma Says:
    September 2nd, 2008 at 4:32 am

    She IS a great person, ive learnt alot from her too. & lindsay lohan is a good actress.

  6. seal Says:
    September 11th, 2008 at 8:12 am

    What do you do if Paris throws a grenade at you? pull the pin and throw it back!

  7. AntiParis Says:
    September 15th, 2008 at 11:44 am

    Paris Hilton is not a “notable” person.And what have you guys “learned” from her other than how to contract the most STD’s possible? You Paris fans are the most pathetic people on this planet!

  8. Mia Says:
    September 15th, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    Paris? Smart? What didyou learn from her? how to insert a … never mind, i’m gonna stop with that thought

  9. Anonymous Says:
    September 15th, 2008 at 12:31 pm

    Ok, so Paris Hilton is notable and a good citizen and we should let out all the men who have beat their wives, release every person who has beat their children and forgive every person who has murdered!

    Yeah…thick sarcasm by the way.

    Hilton not really that great. Shes not very bright either. Hey at least she knows how to make an amature sex video!

  10. nothinguneed2know Says:
    November 2nd, 2008 at 7:15 pm

    u can learn three things from pairs hilton
    1. how to be a snob
    2.how to be oblivious to the real problems of the world
    3. how to b a bitch


  11. Solardragon Says:
    December 21st, 2008 at 5:19 pm

    She’s a spoilt brat with an IQ of 5, period.

  12. mee Says:
    December 27th, 2008 at 8:52 pm

    learning from paris hilton? jesus whats got into everyone?

  13. Lee Says:
    February 11th, 2009 at 10:55 am

    That is the biggest pile of shit i have ever heard!
    Paris would neva say those things, from my point of you, your the one that sounds like a divvy!
    Get a life an stop taking ur frustration outta paris!
    Ur just doin this cuz ur on the dole, u have no partner which equals no sex, ur fat an u stink of piss!
    Get a life cuz at the end of the day, Paris is laughing at you….. who has the money an who cares what u think???

  14. Erica McHamperson Says:
    March 28th, 2009 at 4:06 am

    These really aren’t funny. I know stupid whores in my school who act just like Paris Hilton, but I don’t see jokes on the internet about THEM.

    It’s just because she’s famous, and that she’s a person you can direct unnecessary hate towards. You don’t rip on people for being stupid, it’s really not fair on them. While Paris may be slightly… risque… she’s still a person. You don’t see me posting shit on the internet that some retarded whores at my school say, even though it’s entirely the same situation as it is with Paris.

  15. CN;; Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 1:32 pm

    Paris is not a notable person, and I actually find these jokes very funny! There is nothing great about Paris Hilton, I don’t see the point in being a ‘fan’ of hers, what has she done to deserve fans? She just takes all her dad’s money, or earns money because of her dad. She wouldn’t have anything like this if it wasn’t for her dad, Paris Hilton is just a stupid person and if they aren’t funny and you don’t like jokes about Paris, why are you reading them? LMAO!!

  16. Daniela Says:
    April 18th, 2009 at 8:34 am

    k u guys r fighting over something that no one in the worlds gives a shit about

    she is stupid
    she may be smart but acts dumb for attention
    she is a bitch
    i can just go one and on

    so get on wit yo oitty lil lives and i bet f the people that hate her met her will actually be all over her ass the people that love will hate her ass…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………cuz they opened their eyes and saw that se is so stupid!


  17. jimmy Says:
    April 22nd, 2009 at 5:20 am

    haha pure funi readin dis shite

  18. kelsey Says:
    May 16th, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    paris hilton i like dont want to go to japan because like i heard the shusi in africa was really gross

  19. Anonymous Says:
    June 5th, 2009 at 2:46 pm


  20. Anonymous Says:
    June 14th, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    Nikki is way prettier and way smarter too.

  21. Mum 'n Dad Says:
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    Even the rusty parts of the Eifel tower have more beauty than Paris Hilton.

  22. Anonymous Says:
    July 18th, 2009 at 8:38 pm

    paris hilton is a bimbo snob. like her new show “pais hiltons new BFF” did you hear her say to the one contestant “i cant have someone who is so stupid to be my new BFF”
    news flash parios! your to stupid to be your own BFF!

  23. Anonymous Says:
    July 29th, 2009 at 8:37 pm

    … this was great! what could you possibly learn from Paris?

  24. saunya Says:
    September 13th, 2009 at 11:51 am

    Shes acually a decent person in real life. It’s just a publicity act, i know

  25. Anonymous Says:
    September 13th, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    she can count to potato, well smart

  26. AnotherParisBasher Says:
    August 1st, 2010 at 2:37 am

    Paris Hilton is the worlds dumbest S… Wait… I won’t use that word cause kids see this site. She gives blonds a bad name. And the people who say Paris Hilton is wonderful, then you all must be S… (won’t use that word) OR Y’ALL ARE PARIS HILTON! IF SO… THEN DO THE WORLD A FAVOR AND END YOURSELF!!!!

  27. Anonymous Says:
    August 21st, 2010 at 5:04 am

    Funnnny! people actually like Paris, never thought it was true. But I guess there are a lot of stupid people on this planet including Paris Hilton.

  28. Davis Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 6:43 am

    The only good thing about Paris Hilton in 3 words. Ameteur. Sex. Video.

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