Category: Best Pickup Lines: Funny

The best funny pick up lines | Stupid and dumb pickup lines

Top 10 Senator Larry Craig Bathroom Pick up Lines

1. Hi there. Do you flush here often?

2. My name? Just call me Senator McLovin.

3. So, um, you wanna give it a whirl?

4. If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put U and I and P together

5. Will you still respect me in 2 minutes?

6. I’ve gotta hand it to you. You can really hold my own.

7. Excuse me but do you know where I can find a cup? That’s right. I wanna C-U-P.

8. Stall inspector. Per regulations, I’m just crawling into your stall to make sure your toilet will hold two people.

9. Excuse me. Would you mind if I um, slipped into something a little more comfortable?

10. Are you going to go sit at the bar after this? Because I would be happy to push in your stool.

Page topic: Larry Craig Jokes: Top Ten Senator Larry Craig Bathroom Pickup Lines © InnocentEnglish, 2007.

This top 10 list is not intended to be disrespectful of any sexual orientation, just of hypocrisy in action.


Funny Pick up Lines: Best dumb, stupid, & funny chat up lines to pick up someone

Good Pickup lines: here are some great (and stupid) funny pickup lines and chat up lines. Some are sweet, some cheesy, some bad, but hey, some just might be worth a try…




Are you a parking ticket? You got fine written all over you.

Hey aren’t you forgetting something? Me!

Baby did you fart, ’cause you blow me away!

Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he’s missing an angel!

Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet!

Can i get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist?

Does your watch have a second hand? I want to know how long it took for me to fall in love with you.

Don’t walk into that building — the sprinklers might go off!

Don’t you know me from somewhere?

Excuse me miss? You dropped something back there? My jaw!

Good news, the test results are negative!

Got me? I’ll do your body good.

Grab them in the butt and ask, “Pardon me, is this seat taken?”

He: You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how guyy time have you been married? He: Twice.

Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.

Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven’t seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you’ve really changed! (I’m not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!

Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

Hi, my name’s Right…Mr. Right.

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

I dropped a tear in the ocean, the day I find it is the day I’ll stop loving you.

I envy your lipstick.

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

I have only three months to live.

I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.

I think I must be dying because I’m looking at Heaven.

I think my medication is wearing off.

I think you’ve got something in your eye. Oh never mind, it’s just a sparkle.

If a star fell for every time i thought of you, the sky would be empty.

If beauty were a grain of sand, you’d be a million beaches.

If beauty were sunlight, you’d shine from a million light-years away.

If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.

If God made anything more pretty, I’m sure he’d keep it for himself.

If water were beauty you’d be the ocean.

If you were a booger I’d pick you first.

If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.

If you were a laser, you’d be set on “stunning”.

If you were a library book, I would check you out.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous.

I’m feeling kind of insecure right now. Could I have a hug?

Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I’ve been searching for!

Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?

Is your name Gillette? Because you’re the best a guy can get

Guy: excuse me did you just feel my ass? Girl: no you: why not?

My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

Oh no, I’m choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!

Pull my finger.

Say, didn’t we go to different schools together?

So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?

Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say, “I’m not really this tall….I’m sitting on my wallet.”

Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

What’s a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?

When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.

When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor…so I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.

When you look into the mirror holding up a dozen roses, you see the 13 most beautiful things in the world.

Woguy, I hate to see you go, but I LOVE watching you leave….

Would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glass.

You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.

You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!

You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.

You’ve got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.

You’ve been a bad girl/boy. Go to my room!


Page topic: funny pickup lines and chat up lines: Best witty, stupid, dumb, clever, bad cheesy and funny pickup lines for getting a date at a bar



Top iphone pick up lines: How to subtly mention your new iphone when picking up a girl at a bar

There she is. Sitting there at the bar. Time to make your move. But what do  you say? You start to get a little nervous. Then you remember. “Oh yeah. I have a new iphone. And some oh so witty pick up lines.” You relax. You walk up to her casually and say:

I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock. Plus I have an iphone!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put u and iphone together.

Hey baby. iphone you tomorrow?

Hi. My friend over there bet you wouldn’t let me google you on our first date. So what do you say? I’ll buy you a drink. You can even google me back. My iphone battery is big and strong and fully charged up, so we could google all night.

Did you know my iphone is also a remote control? Let’s go somewhere remote and you can have control.

Hi there angel. Did it hurt when you fell from heav- oh, sorry, I’m getting a call on my new iphone…. Oh, it was Saint Peter. He said have a great time on your trip to Earth, and don’t worry about being good- they won’t keep score up there while you are on leave.

I AM happy to see you but that’s just an ipod in my pocket.

Hi there. Wanna use your fingers to enlarge my pixel size?

Is your dad a thief? Because if he is, I’ll keep my new ipod hidden when you introduce him to me next Saturday.

I think I need to call Heaven- on my new iphone- because they lost one of their angels.

I forgot my phone number. Can I have yours? I’ll store it in my new iphone.

Excuse me- I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your place? Let me just open up Google maps in my iphone.

How much does my new iphone weigh? Enough to break the ice. Can I enter in your phone number?

You know, inheriting 50 million dollars doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart, even if you have a four houses, two islands and a brand new iphone like this one.

Excuse me, did you just call me on my iphone? Then I guess it wasn’t my phone that was vibrating in my pocket.


Page topic: iphone pickup lines: funny, stupid, dumb and yes a few even terrible bar pick up lines so you can subtly mention that  you own an iphone. iphone jokes