Funny Pick up Lines: Best dumb, stupid, & funny chat up lines to pick up someone

Good Pickup lines: here are some great (and stupid) funny pickup lines and chat up lines. Some are sweet, some cheesy, some bad, but hey, some just might be worth a try…




Are you a parking ticket? You got fine written all over you.

Hey aren’t you forgetting something? Me!

Baby did you fart, ’cause you blow me away!

Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he’s missing an angel!

Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet!

Can i get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist?

Does your watch have a second hand? I want to know how long it took for me to fall in love with you.

Don’t walk into that building — the sprinklers might go off!

Don’t you know me from somewhere?

Excuse me miss? You dropped something back there? My jaw!

Good news, the test results are negative!

Got me? I’ll do your body good.

Grab them in the butt and ask, “Pardon me, is this seat taken?”

He: You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how guyy time have you been married? He: Twice.

Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.

Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven’t seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you’ve really changed! (I’m not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!

Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

Hi, my name’s Right…Mr. Right.

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

I dropped a tear in the ocean, the day I find it is the day I’ll stop loving you.

I envy your lipstick.

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

I have only three months to live.

I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.

I think I must be dying because I’m looking at Heaven.

I think my medication is wearing off.

I think you’ve got something in your eye. Oh never mind, it’s just a sparkle.

If a star fell for every time i thought of you, the sky would be empty.

If beauty were a grain of sand, you’d be a million beaches.

If beauty were sunlight, you’d shine from a million light-years away.

If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.

If God made anything more pretty, I’m sure he’d keep it for himself.

If water were beauty you’d be the ocean.

If you were a booger I’d pick you first.

If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.

If you were a laser, you’d be set on “stunning”.

If you were a library book, I would check you out.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous.

I’m feeling kind of insecure right now. Could I have a hug?

Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I’ve been searching for!

Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?

Is your name Gillette? Because you’re the best a guy can get

Guy: excuse me did you just feel my ass? Girl: no you: why not?

My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

Oh no, I’m choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!

Pull my finger.

Say, didn’t we go to different schools together?

So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?

Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say, “I’m not really this tall….I’m sitting on my wallet.”

Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

What’s a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?

When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.

When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor…so I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.

When you look into the mirror holding up a dozen roses, you see the 13 most beautiful things in the world.

Woguy, I hate to see you go, but I LOVE watching you leave….

Would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glass.

You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.

You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!

You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.

You’ve got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.

You’ve been a bad girl/boy. Go to my room!


Page topic: funny pickup lines and chat up lines: Best witty, stupid, dumb, clever, bad cheesy and funny pickup lines for getting a date at a bar



35 thoughts on “Funny Pick up Lines: Best dumb, stupid, & funny chat up lines to pick up someone”

  1. are those space pants you’re wearin ‘coz that ass is outa this world!

    wow lol if anyone said any of these to me i’d slap them :)

  2. [Get a glass with Ice only and throw on the floor]
    “Now that we’ve broken the ice, what is your name?”

  3. Любое искусство, особенно нетрадиционное, всегда вызывало ожесточенные споры. Думаю, оно просто имеет право на существование, вот и всё!

  4. Guy: If I could rearange the alfabet I’d put U and I together.
    Me: Really? Because if I could rearange the alfabet I’d put F and U together.

  5. Cool!

    Here are a few more:

    You look like my third wife! (How many have you had?) Two…
    Are you smoking? (No!) Oh, yes you are!
    Hey I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend…
    I’m invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
    Was your father an alien? Cos honey on planet earth there’s nothing else like you!
    I know I’m not a grocery item but I can tell when you’re checking me out.

    And also some pick up lines for girls:

  6. Отдых в Крыму и Одессе. Лечение в Крыму и Одессе. Путевки в санатории, пансионаты и гостиницы Крыма. Детский отдых на Черном море.
    Отдых, Ялта, Крым, Одесса, детский, здравница, пансионат, санаторий, курорт, гостиницы, Севастополь, экскурсия, Западный, Восточный, санаторий приморье, Южный, берег Крыма, Черное море, путешествие, путевки

  7. Пост реально понравился. Постеру спасибо. Ð’ поддержку темы тоже делюсь тем, что близко мне – Скандальные новости мира, Заходите – не пожалеете

  8. Новость реально понравился. Постеру спасибо. Ð’ поддержку темы тоже делюсь тем, что близко мне – книги на мобильного, Заходите – не пожалеете

  9. Let’s go back to my crib and do some math: Add a bed, Subtract your cloths, Divide your legs and Multiply.

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