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Funny Pick up Lines: Best dumb, stupid, & funny chat up lines to pick up someone

Good Pickup lines: here are some great (and stupid) funny pickup lines and chat up lines. Some are sweet, some cheesy, some bad, but hey, some just might be worth a try…




Are you a parking ticket? You got fine written all over you.

Hey aren’t you forgetting something? Me!

Baby did you fart, ’cause you blow me away!

Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he’s missing an angel!

Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet!

Can i get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist?

Does your watch have a second hand? I want to know how long it took for me to fall in love with you.

Don’t walk into that building — the sprinklers might go off!

Don’t you know me from somewhere?

Excuse me miss? You dropped something back there? My jaw!

Good news, the test results are negative!

Got me? I’ll do your body good.

Grab them in the butt and ask, “Pardon me, is this seat taken?”

He: You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how guyy time have you been married? He: Twice.

Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.

Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven’t seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you’ve really changed! (I’m not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!

Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

Hi, my name’s Right…Mr. Right.

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

I dropped a tear in the ocean, the day I find it is the day I’ll stop loving you.

I envy your lipstick.

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

I have only three months to live.

I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.

I think I must be dying because I’m looking at Heaven.

I think my medication is wearing off.

I think you’ve got something in your eye. Oh never mind, it’s just a sparkle.

If a star fell for every time i thought of you, the sky would be empty.

If beauty were a grain of sand, you’d be a million beaches.

If beauty were sunlight, you’d shine from a million light-years away.

If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.

If God made anything more pretty, I’m sure he’d keep it for himself.

If water were beauty you’d be the ocean.

If you were a booger I’d pick you first.

If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.

If you were a laser, you’d be set on “stunning”.

If you were a library book, I would check you out.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous.

I’m feeling kind of insecure right now. Could I have a hug?

Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I’ve been searching for!

Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?

Is your name Gillette? Because you’re the best a guy can get

Guy: excuse me did you just feel my ass? Girl: no you: why not?

My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

Oh no, I’m choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!

Pull my finger.

Say, didn’t we go to different schools together?

So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?

Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say, “I’m not really this tall….I’m sitting on my wallet.”

Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

What’s a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?

When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.

When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor…so I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.

When you look into the mirror holding up a dozen roses, you see the 13 most beautiful things in the world.

Woguy, I hate to see you go, but I LOVE watching you leave….

Would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glass.

You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.

You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!

You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.

You’ve got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.

You’ve been a bad girl/boy. Go to my room!


Page topic: funny pickup lines and chat up lines: Best witty, stupid, dumb, clever, bad cheesy and funny pickup lines for getting a date at a bar



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35 Responses to “Funny Pick up Lines: Best dumb, stupid, & funny chat up lines to pick up someone””

  1. Maddy Says:
    February 24th, 2008 at 9:14 pm

    Do you plays the drums?
    No why?
    Ive got something you can bang on

  2. GemmaLouise Says:
    March 14th, 2008 at 6:35 pm

    Are You a Chocolate Bar?
    Because i Woudlnt Mind a Peice Of You!

  3. Gemma Says:
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:14 am

    is there a mirror in your pants coz i can see myself in them

  4. julissa Says:
    April 23rd, 2008 at 1:58 pm

    r u from jamica cuz jamiacon me crazzzz

  5. jhkhk Says:
    May 11th, 2008 at 12:02 am

    all these suck!!!

  6. lola Says:
    June 11th, 2008 at 1:56 pm

    are those space pants you’re wearin ‘coz that ass is outa this world!

    wow lol if anyone said any of these to me i’d slap them :)

  7. Hyongjun Says:
    June 13th, 2008 at 10:19 pm

    Girl do u got a mirror on ur pants cuz i can see my self in em

  8. Anonymous Says:
    June 15th, 2008 at 10:43 pm

    sometimes i miss my ex but my aim is getting better lol

  9. Anonymous Says:
    June 17th, 2008 at 6:12 pm

    how heavy is a polar bear?
    enough to brake the ice hi im tom whats ur name?

  10. bristow Says:
    July 19th, 2008 at 10:55 am

    are you fred flintstone? no why? coz u can make my bedrock

  11. Fran Says:
    August 4th, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    [Get a glass with Ice only and throw on the floor]
    “Now that we’ve broken the ice, what is your name?”

  12. Sol_Nunas Says:
    September 5th, 2008 at 7:18 am

    call the cops cause u stole my heart baby

  13. Anonymous Says:
    September 15th, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    some people say Im from outta space, wanna see my spaceship?

  14. cg35142 Says:
    October 9th, 2008 at 3:15 pm

    if u were a booger i would pick u first

  15. блaтнoy Says:
    October 28th, 2008 at 2:28 am

    Любое искусство, особенно нетрадиционное, всегда вызывало ожесточенные споры. Думаю, оно просто имеет право на существование, вот и всё!

  16. Betty Says:
    December 11th, 2008 at 12:12 pm

    (man)do you want a raison?


    (man)wat about a date then?

  17. Danielle Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 8:30 am

    i lost my viginaty can i have urs ?

  18. joe Says:
    April 7th, 2009 at 4:04 am

    Is there a airport near by or did my heart just take off :D

  19. britteni Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    WOW! i wud never let a guy say this sh!t to me!!!

  20. jagena and ashley Says:
    April 17th, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    do you work at subway cuz ur givin me a footlong giggity giggity gooo alright

  21. La Says:
    June 7th, 2009 at 11:56 am

    Guy: If I could rearange the alfabet I’d put U and I together.
    Me: Really? Because if I could rearange the alfabet I’d put F and U together.

  22. FATTIE Says:
    June 7th, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    is your name Jacob? Cause your a cracker ;)

  23. Anonymous Says:
    June 11th, 2009 at 2:42 am

    My love for you is like diarrhoea, I can’t hold it in

  24. Sarah cooks Says:
    June 22nd, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    If a man ever said any of these to me I’d back hand him WITH A RING ON

  25. funny pick up lines Says:
    July 1st, 2009 at 9:48 am


    Here are a few more:

    You look like my third wife! (How many have you had?) Two…
    Are you smoking? (No!) Oh, yes you are!
    Hey I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend…
    I’m invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
    Was your father an alien? Cos honey on planet earth there’s nothing else like you!
    I know I’m not a grocery item but I can tell when you’re checking me out.

    And also some pick up lines for girls: http://www.funny-pick-up-lines.com/pick-up-lines-for-girls.html

  26. пансионаты крыма Says:
    November 13th, 2009 at 7:51 am

    Отдых в Крыму и Одессе. Лечение в Крыму и Одессе. Путевки в санатории, пансионаты и гостиницы Крыма. Детский отдых на Черном море.
    Отдых, Ялта, Крым, Одесса, детский, здравница, пансионат, санаторий, курорт, гостиницы, Севастополь, экскурсия, Западный, Восточный, санаторий приморье, Южный, берег Крыма, Черное море, путешествие, путевки

  27. книги на мобильного Says:
    November 13th, 2009 at 9:54 am

    Пост реально понравился. Постеру спасибо. В поддержку темы тоже делюсь тем, что близко мне – Скандальные новости мира, Заходите – не пожалеете

  28. Скандальные новости мира Says:
    November 13th, 2009 at 9:55 am

    Новость реально понравился. Постеру спасибо. В поддержку темы тоже делюсь тем, что близко мне – книги на мобильного, Заходите – не пожалеете

  29. Nonayobuisness Says:
    January 13th, 2010 at 9:51 pm

    Let’s go back to my crib and do some math: Add a bed, Subtract your cloths, Divide your legs and Multiply.

  30. lol Says:
    February 15th, 2010 at 5:44 am

    -Polar Bears
    -That was the first thing I could think that breaks the ice, Hi I’m…

  31. Anonymous Says:
    May 29th, 2010 at 2:58 pm

    you look like my 5th girlfriend i just split up with the 4th

  32. Dave Says:
    July 8th, 2010 at 8:09 am

    Your lucky fox hunting is illegal, otherwise u would be in all sorts of trouble (wink) haha

  33. Anonymous Says:
    July 25th, 2010 at 4:36 am

    LOL if someone sed this to me i’d b lovin’it

  34. jovie Says:
    September 20th, 2010 at 11:54 pm

    girl do you have a licence cause I’ll let you drive me all night

  35. Anonymous Says:
    January 9th, 2011 at 3:52 am

    where you been all my life?

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