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Tag: Redneck jokes

Daily Quick Break: April 6, 2008: Funny Redneck Jokes: Haikus: Heart-Touching Poetry from the Trailer Park.

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed.

Quick Break Pic of the Day. Caption this Pic!

 

Here are some really funny redneck jokes:

Ahhh, the haiku. Few poetic styles evoke such stirrings of the soul. Someone sent me these lovely and heart-touching red neck and trailer park haikus. I’m happy to give proper credit to the talented poet or poets who so beautifully capture the heart of the trailer park. But for now, the creator/s must remain a mystery. And as these poems show, the haiku is a poem which evokes the Mystery of Life. Enjoy, and let your heart be touched! BEAUTYNaked in repose
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps

REMORSEA painful sadness
Can’t fit big screen TV through
Double-wide’s front doorOPTIONS

Unemployment’s out
Hey, maybe I can get on
Disability

BLAZE

Distant siren screams
Dumb-ass Verne’s been playing with
Gasoline again

A NEW MOON

Flashlights pierce the darkness
No nightcrawlers to be found
Guess we’ll gig some frogs

To read the rest, go to: Funny Redneck Jokes: Haikus: Heart-Touching Poetry from the Trailer Park.

Daily Quick Break: March 29, 2008: Redneck Pickup Lines: Top Funny Bar Pick Up Lines Used by Rednecks

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed.

Quick Break Pic of the Day. Caption this Pic!

These popular redneck pickup lines were obtained by InnocentEnglish- the first site to acquire them- by sending out private investigators into redneck bars across the South. These brave women put on very uncomfortable cowboy boots and 6 times their usual amounts of make up in order to attract redneck men at many different bars. They took notes of every pick up line used, and together created this list of the most popular and commonly used redneck pickup lines.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d sure shootin’ put U and me together.

I may not have as many teeth as Fred Flinstone, but wanna watch me make my bedrock?

Your eyes are the same color as my 1972 Ford Pickup Truck. I mean without the mud. Or the nude girl on the mud flaps.

Howdy. You’re not the kinda unchristian girl that goes out drinking and then spends the night with the first loser she meets are ya? Well then, how about your uglier friend there?

Well, aren’t you hotter than a mama cougar in heat running from my hunting dogs in August?

Hey Baby. Wanna go back to my place? Mamma said you had to be home by 11 anyway.

Can I make you a drink? My still is in the back of my camper- Or as I call it- my sheep shack.

To read the rest, go to: Redneck Pickup Lines: Top Funny Bar Pick Up Lines Used by Rednecks

Redneck Pickup Lines: Top Funny Bar Pick Up Lines Used by Rednecks

These popular redneck pickup lines were obtained by InnocentEnglish- the first site to acquire them- by sending out private investigators into redneck bars across the South. These brave women put on very uncomfortable cowboy boots and 6 times their usual amounts of make up in order to attract redneck men at many different bars. They took notes of every pick up line used, and together created this list of the most popular and commonly used redneck pickup lines.

 

BEST FUNNY REDNECK PICKUP LINES

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d sure shootin’ put U and me together.

I may not have as many teeth as Fred Flinstone, but wanna watch me make my bedrock?

Your eyes are the same color as my 1972 Ford Pickup Truck. I mean without the mud. Or the nude girl on the mud flaps.

Howdy. You’re not the kinda unchristian girl that goes out drinking and then spends the night with the first loser she meets are ya? Well then, how about your uglier friend there?

Well, aren’t you hotter than a mama cougar in heat running from my hunting dogs in August?

Hey Baby. Wanna go back to my place? Mamma said you had to be home by 11 anyway.

Can I make you a drink? My still is in the back of my camper- Or as I call it- my sheep shack.

Well, tie me to a pig and roll me in the mud! You are mighty purdy for a heavy girl.

Can I borrow your t-shirt? I gotta go wipe the oil off my dip stick.

If I had a garden, I’d put your tulips next to my tulips. And then plant some watermelon and probably a few tomato plants. It’s a little late in the year for lettuce, but we might be able to still get a few green beans to grow, iffen we add enough fertilizer, and give ‘em a lot of evening water since day water can just kill off those suckers right quick, cuz of how strong the sun is and those water beads just act like a magnifier, which is great for zapping those sunbich aphids but don’t do the vegetables no good at all which is why- what was we talking about?

Tell me honey ham, did it hurt when the devil spit you up and you landed here?

Hi there darling. Wow, I bet you were really hot when you were about my age!

Roses are red. Spend the night with me and I’ll teach you all kinds of cool scientific stuff like that!

You’re hair is just about as purdy as that squirrel’s I skinned this morning. And it smells just as good!

A few more beers, and I’d probly do ya. So give me a minute darling, and then I’ll give you one!

 

 

Page Topic: Redneck  jokjes: Best Redneck Pickup Lines