These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor book.
From New English Language Students
10. I fell in love with her the first time I sawed her.
9. He had such a worm heart.
8. We were two sheeps passing in the night.
7. We have hated each other for so long. I want to borrow the hatchet.
6. My dentist makes me blush twice a day.
5. I don’t know if he will propose, but I am expecting.
4. I have something exciting to tell you.
My girlfriend and I got enraged last night!
3. The groom was wearing a very nice croissant.
2. He lifted the veal off her face and gave her a big kiss.
1. I think she is really glad she got marinated.