Here are some Jessica Simpson jokes (at least, hopefully they are jokes):Â
Jessica Simpson came close to deathÂ today while horseback riding. She was enjoying a leisurely ride, when the horse started bouncing out of control. Her agent said Jessica attempted to hold on, but failed, and fell off the side of the horse.Â Her foot got caught in the stirrup as she fell.Â The horse didnâ€™t stop, and her head was on the ground.Â â€œJessica started screaming for help â€œMake him stop! Make him stop! Please somebody!â€.Â Â
Fortunately, a Wal-mart greeter heard her, and unplugged it.
An Entertainment Tonight reporter was interviewing Jessica Simpson recently, When Jessica took off her shows.Â The reporter noticed each shoe had written inside, in small letters, TGIF, and asked Jessica about it.Â â€œOh, that?â€ Jessica replied.Â â€œJust a little helpful reminder, because I can be pretty sleepy in the mornings.Â It means Toes Go in First.
Why does Jessica Simpson always smile during lightning storms?
A: She thinks her picture is being taken.
Jessica Simpson was driving to Disneyland for a commercial when she saw a big highway sign that said â€œDISNEYLAND LEFT.â€Â Â Disappointed, she turned around and drove back home.
Photographers staked out in front of Jessica Simpsonâ€™s new house yesterday saw her come out and walk to her mailbox, and then go back in. She repeated this five times. One of the photographers yelled â€œWhat are you doing Jessica?â€Â She yelled back â€œMy stupid computer keeps telling me Iâ€™ve got mail.
Jessica Simpson was eight hours late to a photo shoot in San Diego.Â She arrived dirty and exhausted. When asked what happened she said Well I thought Iâ€™d just drive down from L.A. but I kept passing damn signs that said â€œClean Restrooms aheadâ€. I must have cleaned like 15 of them.
Jessica, why did you move to L.A.?
Oh, I just thought I should try to live in a city that I can usually remember how to spell.
Page topic: Jessica Simpson Jokes and almost quotes