Top 10 Funniest Fairly Clean Limericks

The last few of these top 10 funniest limericks are suggestive, but they are still much more mild than many limericks out there, particularly the ones about a great many people from Nantucket, who apparently have quite a variety of very interesting social encounters…



1. Old Reggie McGarr

I heard that old Reggie McGarr
Died peacefully, with his cigar,
Peacefully dreaming,
Not yelling and screaming
Like the folks in the back of his car.

-Albert Van Hoogmoed

2. The Woman Named Bright

There was a young woman named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.

3. Emily Skinner

A blonde girl named Emily Skinner
Would not eat a bite of her dinner
She’d been painting her door
And the man at the store
Had told her she had to get thinner
-Graham Lester

4. Arthur Jones

Arthur Jones to his bride-to-be said,
“I can shoot off this pear from your head.”
Then he missed by a hair,
But he still split a pair,
For there’s lead in the miss he misled
-Graham Lester

5. The Flea and the Fly and the Flue

A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, “let us flee!”
“Let us fly!” said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

6. The Gambler

A gambler in debt far too deep
Was needing a way to live cheap,
So he planted by hand
Lots of crops on his land.
Now he just has to weed ‘em and reap.
-Graham Lester

7 Fischer the Fisher

There was a young fisher named Fischer
Who fished for a fish in a fissure.
The fish with a grin,
Pulled the fisherman in
Now they’re fishing the fissure for Fischer.

(Slightly More Risque Limericks)

8 The Maid from Magrass

There once was a maid from Magrass
Who had such a very nice ass
Now don’t raise a stink
It’s not what you think
It was brown had long ears and ate grass!

9. The Noise from the Room Down Below

An old maid phoned the desk and said, “Joe,
What’s the noise from that room down below?”
“Oh, they’re holding,” he sighed,
“An Elk’s Ball just inside.”
“Well then, tell them,” she said, “to let go!”

10. The Barmaid at Yale

On the breasts of a barmaid at Yale
Are tattooed all the prices of ale,
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
Are the same, but they’re written in Braille.

Funny Poems: Top 10 funniest limericks



Page Topic: Fairly Clean Limericks



3 thoughts on “Top 10 Funniest Fairly Clean Limericks”

  1. theres a pretty ladie named brittney
    she is so hot and prettie
    she knows how to play the boys
    she has a good trunk load of toys
    she knows how to break dance
    she always has the hottest pants
    she’s as sweet as a chocoalte swirl
    she makes the guys say Dang Girl!

  2. There once was a man from the coast,
    who liked to stretch truth and to boast.
    The dreadful old liar,
    claimed immunity to fire
    And now he resembles burnt toast.

Leave a Comment