Funny Bathroom Poems

The Royal Flush:
(For Duane)

A Funeral Poem by the nineteenth century transcendentalist, Henry Waldo Liverworth

That day is etched upon my brain
The death of my beloved Duane.
I found him there, simply floating
So sad to see him stiff and bloating
I pressed against him with my ear
But there was no heartbeat I could hear

My heart was broken, tears were shed
They landed on his little head
I put around him a little blankie
Kissed him goodbye (then blew my hankie)
We lit some candles, and gathered round
I held him up, then flushed him down

So much sorrow, so much pain
To watch his life go down the drain
It hit me then, and does each day
That we’ll all go much the same way
Through a long dark tunnel
into the Endless Sea
That’s what will come
Of you and me

We’re not to fear, we’re not to dread
But if you were born, you will be dead
So live each day full
For each of us
Soon or late
Will get the Royal Flush




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2 thoughts on “Funny Bathroom Poems”

  1. Here i sit soo broken hearted, tried to poop but only farted. Back to the car, I took a chance, tried to fart, but pooped my pants

  2. Here i sit in stinky vaper, cause some jerk stole the toilet paper. Shall i lie, shall I linger, or be forced to use my finger?

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