These are some of the best sport quotes and bloopers mistatements:
“Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.”
-Pedro Guerrero, on sportswriters
“Sure. I’m proud to be an American.”
-Cincinnati Reds rookie pitcher Steve Foster, asked by a Canadian customs agent if he had anything to declare.
“The Yankees are only interested in one thing, and I don’t know what that is.”
-Former Yankee outfielder Louos Polonia
“It’s a partial sellout.”
-Atlanta Braves broadcaster Skip Caray, trying not to say the game has only drawn 6,000 fans.
“Why does everybody stand up and sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when they’re already there?”
-Larry Anderson, MLB pitcher
“Models are like baseball players. We make a lot of money quickly, but all of a sudden we’re 30 years old, we don’t have a college education, we’re qualified for nothing, and we’re used to a very nice lifestyle. The best thing is to marry a movie star”
-Cindy Crawford to the BBC
“I was thinking about making a comeback, until I pulled a muscle vacuuming.”
I don’t care what the tape says. I didn’t say it.”
-Football coach Ray Malavasi
Most of my clichés aren’t original.”
-Chuck Knox, when he coached the Rams.
“Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter. I’m amphibious.”
-Charles Shackleford of the NCSU basketball team
“Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win.”
“I’ve won at every level, except college and pro.”
-Shaquille O’Neal, on his lack of championships.
“Are you any relation to your brother Marv?”
-Basketball player Leon Wood to announcer Steve Albert
“I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.”
-Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh
“I don’t want to shoot my mouth in my foot, but those are games we can win.”
Better teams win more often than the teams that are not so good.”
-Tom Watt, ex-Maple Leaves coach (his team was not so good)
“I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia. Not because I had it, but because I couldn’t spell it.”
-Boxing great Rocky Graziano
“He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.”
-Lou Duva, Veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota, 1996.
“He’s the man of the hour at this particular moment.”
“You can sum up this sport in two words: You never know.”
-Lou Duva, boxing trainer
“I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father”
“His nerves. His memory. And I can’t remember the third thing.”
-Lee Trevino on the three things that go as a golfer ages.
“I don’t think anywhere is there a symbiotic relationship between caddie and player like there is in golf.”
-Johnny Miller, TV analyst and pro golfer.
“Then I was skinnier. I hit it better, I putted better, and I could see better. Other than that, everything is the same.”
-PGA Senior Tour player Homero Blancas.
“My handicap is that I don’t have a big enough beer cooler for the back of my golf cart.”
-Pro football linebacker Rick D’Amico, on his golf handicap.
“(We) should be allowed to wear shorts. God almighty, (LPGA) women are allowed to wear ‘em, and we’ve got better legs than they do.”
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Section: Funny English Bloopers & Mistakes