Tag: top ten

Top 10 ways to annoy a Telemarketer: A list of the top ways to get back at Telemarketers

I had just sat down to eat a nice dinner with my family when the phone rang. For the last several days I had been waiting for a phone call to tell me if I got a new, higher paying, job or not. In these economic times I could use every penny I could get. Anyways, the phone rang and I immediately jumped up from the table, knocking over my wine glass in the process. Upset, my wife yelled at me and the kids started crying. Ignoring all the commotion, I dashed to the phone and picked up the call….only to find out it was a telemarketer! If only there was a handy list somewhere to get revenge for another interrupted dinner lying around…

10 Ways to Annoy a Telemarketer

10. When they ask “How are you today?” Tell them! “I’m so glad you asked
because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my
arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died…”

9. If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name.
Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located.
Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as
long as necessary.

8. Cry out in surprise, “Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?”
Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to
figure out where she could know you from.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan,
reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, “I don’t have any friends… would
you be my friend?”

6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and
you could sure use some money.

5. Tell the telemarketer you are on “home incarceration” and ask if they could
bring you a case of beer and some chips

4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When
they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit
card number to a complete stranger.

3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will
give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the
telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say “I
guess you don’t want anyone bothering you at home, right?” The telemarketer
will agree and you say, “Now you know how I feel!” Say good by – and Hang up.

2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. “Come on
Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how’s your mom?”

And first and foremost:

1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

Post Topic: Top 10 ways to annoy a Telemarketer

Golf Jokes: Top 10 Caddy Comments. Ten funny comments by Golf Caddies.

This is apparently from David Letterman. This is a top 10 list of funny golf caddie comments.  Some of these sound like old old old jokes, but they are all pretty funny.  Picture yourself having the worst golf game of your life, and this caddy “helping” you out with these comments….     How many golf clubs would you break?

David Letterman’s Top Ten Caddy Comments: Ten funny comments by Golf Caddies. 
#10 –
Golfer: “Think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.”
Caddy: “Think you can keep your head down that long?”
#9 –
Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.”
Caddy: “Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.”
#8 –
Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving?”
Caddy: “Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.”
7 - 

Golfer: “Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?”
Caddy: “Eventually.”
6 –
Golfer: “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.”
Caddy: “I don’t think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.”
5 –
Golfer: “Please stop checking your watch all the time. It’s too much of a distraction.”
Caddy: “It’s not a watch – it’s a compass.”
4 –
Golfer: “How do you like my game?”
Caddy: “Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf.”
3 –
Golfer: “Do you think it’s a sin to play on Sunday?”
Caddy: “The way you play, sir, it’s a sin on any day.”
2 –
Golfer: “This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.”
Caddy: “This isn’t the golf course. We left that an hour ago.”

And the #1 Caddy Comment is:
Golfer: “That can’t be my ball, it’s too old.”
Caddy: “It’s been a long time since we teed off, sir.”

Page topic: David Letterman Top 10 list: top 10 funny caddy comments by golf caddies.