More funny quotes & jokes by stand up comedians

“The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive.  Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, … Read more

Some Great Funny One-liners From The Best Stand Up Comics and Comedians

    Here are a few one-liners from comics and comedians     Relationships are hard. It’s like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they … Read more