Tag: letters

Funny Dear Abby Letters: Hilarious letters to Dear Abby

Dear Abby has been around a long, long time. And she’s received tens of thousands of letters over the years. It just stands to reason that a few of those are going to be a little bit humorous, or even laugh out loud funny. Here is a collection of funny letters to Dear Abby, which have been circulating around the net for years. They are from a book of interesting and funny letters to Dear Abby, first published in the 1980s.

So here they are: Some of the best hilarious but true (and sometimes sad but true) funny letters to advice columnist Dear Abby.

Dear Abby,

A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?


Dear Abby,

What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?


Dear Abby,

I have a man I can’t trust. He cheats so much, I’m not even sure the baby I’m carrying is his.


Dear Abby,

I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It’s getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don’t know him well enough to discuss money with him.


Dear Abby,

I’ve suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything – and said it would never happen again.


Dear Abby,

Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?


Dear Abby,

I joined the Navy to see the world. I’ve seen it. Now how do I get out?


Dear Abby,

My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.


Dear Abby,

I was married to Bill for three months, and I didn’t know he drank until one night he came home sober.


Dear Abby,

My mother is mean and short tempered – I think she is going through mental pause.


Dear Abby,

You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex – and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?


Remember these people can vote…

DEAR ABBY: I’ve been going steady with this man for six years. We see each other every night. He says he loves me, and I know I love him, but he never mentions marriage. Do you think he’s going out with me just for what he can get?


DEAR GERTIE: I don’t know. What’s he getting?

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month. I’d like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think he’d like?


DEAR CAROL: Never mind what he’d like. Give him a tie.


DEAR ABBY: Are birth control pills deductible?


DEAR KAY: Only if they don’t work.


DEAR ABBY: Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be that early?


DEAR WONDERING: The baby was on time, the wedding was late.


DEAR ABBY: I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can’t afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?


DEAR SAM: Yes. Run for public office.


DEAR ABBY: What inspires you most to write?


DEAR TED: The Bureau of Internal Revenue.


DEAR ABBY: What’s the difference between a wife and a mistress?


DEAR BESS: Night and Day.

Page topic: Funny Dear Abby letters: True, Real life, letters to Dear Abby (and some of Abby’s responses).  Funny Newspaper Columns: Dear Abby Letters.

Daily Quick Break: April 18, 2008: Funny Letters to Government Agencies

Every day posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed.

Quick Break Pic of the Day. Caption this Pic!


1. Dear Sirs, please stop my assistance since I got a job begging in October

2. I am writing the Welfare Dept. to say that my baby was born 2 years old. When do I get my money?

3. Mrs. Jones has not had any clothing for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy.

4. I cannot get sick pay. I have had 6 children. Can you tell me why?

5. I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead.

6. This is my eighth child.

To read the rest, go to: Funny Letters to Government Agencies