Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed.
Â Here are some real, funny online personals, dating want ads and dating site profilesÂ from real dating sites.Â Â
Seeking rich old men with bad hearts and no relatives.
Bitter, disillusioned SM recently rejected by longtime fiancee seeks decent, reliable woman, If such a thing exists in this cruel world of hatchet faced witches.
OBSESSIVE, COMPULSIVE, NEUROTIC, ANTI-SOCIAL, MANIC and PARANOID, but BASICALLY NORMAL
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty,
80’s, slim, 5’4″ (used to be 5’6″),
searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion.
Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking
for someone to round out a six-unit plot.
Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
To read the rest, go to: Funny Online Personals. Dating Jokes: Real, Funny Personals and Online Dating Site Profiles
Quick Break Pic of the Day. Caption this Pic!
The Best Online Dating Service Personals, Profiles and Romance Classified Ad Jokes
Funny Jokes about Online Dating services and Dating.
Here are a few to get started. There will be more soon…
The following ad actually ran in the Atlanta Journal:
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, race unimportant. I’m a very good looking girl who LOVES to play, take long walks in the woods, hunting, camping, fishing trips and cozy winter nights by the fire. Really like a man with a pickup truck. A candlelight dinner will have me eating out of your hand. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. Kiss me and I’m yours. Call (***) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy.
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever.
Funny Online Dating Profiles and singles profile tag lines
Some online dating services have short one-line tags which go with your picture and in some way describe you. Joe Tracy, publisher of Online Dating Magazine, collected some of the funniest ones. Here are some of the best:
-Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until they speak?
-I’m like poop. The older I get the easier I am to pick up!
-Coffee, Chocolate, and Men – some things are just better rich.
-I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.
-Willing to lie about how we met!
-Whereâ€™s â€œClever Opening Lines for Dummiesâ€ When You Need It?
-How many more frogs do I have to kiss to find my prince?
-Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.
-Ready for the three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.
-Girls are like phones. They like to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected.
-Tired of shopping the Damaged Goods department.
-I’m the best singer in my car!
-Looking for a man with a large bulge– in his back right pocket.
-Finding a good man is like nailing Jello to a tree!
-I’ll jump on Oprah’s couch for you!
Page Topic: Funny Online Dating Personals