Tag: funny celeb poems

 

Here are some funny and stupid celebrity poems from last year.  Now that the site has comments set up,  if you want to submit your own funny, stupid or timely celebrity poems, about recent celeb news or anything else Celeb, just send them in the comment form below. I try to keep the site pretty clean so I probably won’t be able to approve ones that have strong language, unless some letters are replaced with *.  

 

Cruise Control

As an actor, Tom Cruise is first rate
It’s some of the other stuff that isn’t so great
We had mostly forgiven how he dumped Nicole
And didn’t mind much his Scientology role

But then he met Katie, and everything changed
He jumped on that couch, looking crazed and insane
Suddenly the Kat was out of the bag
He was strutting and gushing and rushing to brag

We might have forgiven- New love has strange power
But then he attacked Brooke Shields and Matt Lauer
“There’s no such thing as a chemical imbalance” He blew.
“You don’t know the history of psychiatry. I do!”

Ironic but true, we say with a shrug,
Maybe it’s Tom in most need of a drug.
A quick message to Tom: Though we fear it’s begun,
If they brainwash Katie, your career is all done!

Angelina’s Big… Smile

Poor Jennifer A., the girl next door
So sweet and pretty
Not too much like a whore.
She had her dream man
They passed all the tests
Till he came too close
To Angelina’s big–
smile.

Yes, Jen had it all, but all good things must pass.
What man could resist Angelina’s big–
smile.

But Jen’s a big girl.
We know she’ll be fine
And that whole strange Vince Vaughn thing
It WILL fade in time.

Yes, the sky is the limit, or maybe beyond
(Even though most of her movies have bombed)
She’s got a future- of that there’s no question.
And it’s good all the Friends passed on season 11
(Well, unless you count “Joey”, what a mistake.
At one point I wanted to call Robert Blake.)

But the point is she’s strong, and she’ll persevere
(Hey, Billy Bob Thornton is single, I hear)
Well, we’ve all learned a lesson- it just goes to show
Don’t let your man play the husband of Angelina Jo.
With that perfect body and face it all fits.
Brad couldn’t resist kissing her big–
smile.

For Britney
February 23rd, 2006

Yes, a good mother lets her new baby nap
Safely and soundly upon her soft lap

But while driving your car far too fast down a road?
With Sean’s head near an airbag that just might explode?
While on the cell phone and eating some fries?
And putting on make up and swatting some flies?

And cleaning your nostrils of mucus and hairs?
And wearing dark glasses to avoid all the stares
And checking the rear view to see if the paparazzi is gone?
And finding a station that’s playing your song?

And steering and breast feeding, which isn’t too easy
With bumps in the road and your hands all greasy.
We’re not ones to judge- life is hard to perfect
But if this is how you show love, then what would be neglect?

A Lovers’ Quarrel
(Donald Trump and Martha Stewart)

Donald and Martha- Such passion they show!
Such fiery hearts- alive and aglow
Try as they might to hide their love
We know what those sparks are REALLY made of.

To have so much hatred- that comes from hurt
The hurt of a love that got squashed in the dirt.
Ahh- Donny and Mar Mar- What a couple they’d make
If only their egos would take a small break
But the chances of that- well we all agree
Are really quite small- like 0.3
But frankly their bickering to us is quite tired
So Don Don and Marty- Bad news. You’re both fired!

Extra Bonding:

Daniel Craig’s first day on the job as 007.
February 23rd, 2006

Joaquin Phoenix Needs a Brake

February 23rd, 2006

Joaquin played Johnny cash
With great skill and panache
But he took a sharp curve
with a touch too much verve
At which point he was starring in “Crash”.

Ode to Paris
February 23rd, 2006

hot?

Not!

Please submit your own poems about celebrities below, in the comment form. The best candidates rhyme or are otherwise “poetic”, are not too mean spirited or inappropriate for general adult audiences, and are based on relatively recent news stories or events related to celebrities or famous people. .

 

 

Page Topic: Celebrity Poems