Iâ€™ve spent my time in a Catholic Church and I have to say that I donâ€™t envy the choir boys. Theyâ€™re the butt of so many jokes and theyâ€™re notorious for attracting the seedier elements of the priesthood. For those not in the know, choir boys are young kids that sing treble in a choir. A long standing tradition, choir boys are chosen because youngsters can hit notes that are out of reach for adults. Recently theyâ€™ve switched to the gender neutral term of â€œchoristerâ€ though, as young girls have also been joining the choir.We’ll have to see how long that term takes to get accepted in popular culture though…
A Choir Boy Confesses
“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl”.
The priest asks, “Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?”
“Yes, Father, it is.”
“And who was the girl you were with?”
“I can’t tell you, Father, I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”
“Well, Johnny, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now.
“Was it Tina Minetti?”
“I cannot say.”
“Was it Teresa Volpe?”
“I’ll never tell.”
“Was it Nina Capelli?”
“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”
“Was it Cathy Piriano?”
“My lips are sealed.”
“Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?”
“Please, Father, I cannot tell you.”
The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire that.
But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.”
Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend, Nino, slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”
“4 months vacation and five good leads.”
Frogs and Choir Boys
One fine sunny morning, the priest took a walk in the local forest. He had been walking by the small stream when he noticed a sad, sad looking frog sitting on a toadstool.
“Whatâ€™s wrong with you?” said the priest.
“Well,” said the frog, “the reason I am so sad on this fine day is because I wasnâ€™t always a frog.”
“Really!” said the priest. “Can you explain!”
“Once upon a time I was an 11 year old Choir boy at the local church. I too was walking through this forest when I was confronted by the wicked witch of the forest. â€™Let me pass!â€™ I yelled, but to no avail. She called me a cheeky little boy and with a flash of her wand, turned me into this frog you see before you.”
“Thatâ€™s an incredible story” said the priest. “Is there no way of reversing this spell that the witch has cast upon you?.”
“Yes” said the frog, “It is said, that if a nice kind person would pick me up, take me home, give me food & Warmth and with a good nights sleep would wake up a boy once again.”
“Todayâ€™s your lucky day!” said the priest, and picked up the frog and took him home. The priest gave the frog lots of food, placed him by the fire and at bedtime put the frog on the pillow beside him. When the priest awoke, he saw the 11-year-old Choirboy beside him in bed,
“And that my lord is the case for the Defense……. ”
The Choir Boy and the Holy Water
One Sunday morning a minister and a choirboy were getting the church ready for mass. The minister prepared his sermon while the choirboy filled the holy water fountain.
Suddenly, the choirboy burst into the minister’s room and yelled, “father father, I just saw the most amazing thing! I filled the holy water fountain. Then a man came in on crutches. He moved to the fountain, dipped his left hand in the holy water, blessed himself and threw away his left crutch. Then he dipped his right hand in the holy water, blessed himself and threw away his right crutch. Then he turned to me … and he took a step forward”!
The minister was awe struck by what he just heard. “My boy, he said, you just witnessed a miracle from God! Where’s this man now?”
The Choirboy replies…
“flat on his face in front of the holy water fountain”!
Post Topic: Choir Boy Jokes