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Funny Kids’ Mistakes about the Bible

These mistakes have been collected from Sundayschool teachers, Catholic school teachers and others

This comes from a Catholic elementary school. Kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments.

In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.

Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, race of people who lived in Biblical times.

Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

When the three wise guys from the East side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, “a man doth not live by sweat alone.”

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.

The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.



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5 Responses to “Funny Kids’ Mistakes about the Bible””

  1. Me Says:
    May 3rd, 2008 at 12:35 am

    I think some of these are really funny! its funny the things that little kids remember!

  2. Ruth Says:
    June 13th, 2008 at 2:53 am

    Absolutely loved it. All I could think of was ‘out of the mouths of babe’..and some of their replies where just so precious. Not to mention, one or two of them rather apt.

    Delightful….thoroughly delightful.

    Thank you so much for making my day so much lighter.

    Cheers Big Ears!!

  3. Cheese Lover Says:
    December 15th, 2008 at 10:42 pm

    Can you get St. matthew the taximan to pick me and the girls up at 8:00? Me and the epistles are going to the East side with the three wise guys. We’re going after solomans porcupines and remove the unsympathetic genitals with the axe of the apostles.

  4. ototo Says:
    December 22nd, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    funny indeed

  5. ashe Says:
    April 23rd, 2011 at 5:04 am

    don’t like them!

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