Funny Pickup Lines Comebacks

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Funny comebacks to stupid, dumb and funny pickup lines.

Here’s some funny responses to have in mind, just in case some guy tries any “clever”, funny or dumb pick up lines on you.

Top pick up line comebacks:

Man: “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman: “Maybe. I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”

Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”

Man: “Is this seat empty?”
Woman: “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”

Man: “So, wanna go back to my place ?”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”

Man: “Your place or mine?”
Woman: “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”

Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman: “It’s in the phone book.”
Man: “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”

Man: “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman: “I’m a female impersonator.”

Man: “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”
Woman: “Do not Enter”

Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized !”

Man: “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason”
Woman: “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!”


Man: “I know how to please a woman.”
Woman: “Then please leave me alone.”

Man: “I want to give myself to you.”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”

Man: “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy:
Woman: “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing”.

Man: “Your body is like a temple.”
Woman: “Sorry, there are no services today.”

Man: “I’d go through anything for you.”
Woman: “Good! Let’s start with your bank account. Then the door.”

Man: “I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: “Yes, but would you stay there?

It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checking you out.
Oh, sorry, I’m reserved for someone else.

This may be the all time most memorable response to a pick up line. From Erin Brockovich, starring Julia Roberts. Remember this scene?

George: Can I get your number?
Erin Brockovich: My number? Which one do you want?
George: How many numbers you got?
Erin Brockovich: Oh, I got numbers comin’ outta my ears. For instance: ten.
George: Ten?
Erin Brockovich: Yeah. That’s how many months old my baby girl is.
George: You got a little girl?
Erin Brockovich: Yeah. Yeah, sexy, huh? How ’bout this for a number? Six. That’s how old my other daughter is, eight is the age of my son, two is how many times I’ve been married – and divorced; sixteen is the number of dollars I have in my bank account. 850-3943. That’s my phone number, and with all the numbers I gave you, I’m guessing zero is the number of times you’re gonna call it!

 

 

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84 thoughts on “Funny Pickup Lines Comebacks”

  4. there ok, they cood b a lot betta though but u need more … that r bout different stuff 2…

  5. here’s one:
    man: if i could rearrange that alphabet, i’d put U and I togethor.
    woman: really? because i’d put F and U

  9. Boy:hey baby how bout a number or two and i call you
    Girl:ok here is my number…… 2

    Boy: no i ment ur phone number

    Girl: ummm ya i dont think so

  12. boy-“why don’t you sit down on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up!”

    girl-well that should be a SHORT conversation…

  13. boy: i think i’ve died and gone to heaven cause i’m lookin’ at an angel!
    girl: really? i wished i could have died and gone to hell the moment you walked in!

    girl: hey cutie, want to hang out?
    boy: i.. uh… i’m gay *COUGHCOUGH*

  14. LOL

    Guy: guess what I…..
    Girl: *cuts him off* Sorry you must have me confused with somebody who cares

  21. you can kinda tell that a girl made these.
    because their all making guys look stupid.
    yeah, i am a girl, but jeez, you could have at least evened it out.:)
    bite on them apples;]

  24. Male:do you got a 5 dollars cos i have a foot long
    female:that is so not worth 5 dollars

    male:do you work for AT&T cos your raising my bars
    female:sorry out of service today

  26. ok girls, this ones for you, a guy asks you to dance, dance with him. Then if hes a sleezball, and he asks you or hints you that he wants to bang, say no, nd then say “i only danced wit you to see if pigs could talk”

  27. wow… these are great… some of these have been stupid pickup lines that have beenused on me… lol love the phonebook one…

  35. Что-то мне кажется, на вашем сайте развелось слишком много так называемых говн*комментатров, которым лишь бы ляпнуть чего-нибудь:)

  38. No affence but ther crapp. Noooo wayy would i ever sayy anyy of these as a comeback – ther really really bad. And i havee seen these sum where else so yhuu aint even made um up – yhuu copied um! anywayy i bett yhuur a nice person soo dontt take anyy of thiss personalyyy coz i dont mean 2 affend, but takke me advice and dontt ever sayy any of thesse in publicc – EVER xx

  39. well these are kinda boring……butt hey dont get me wrong sum are kinda funny for example.

    boy:”is this seat empty?”

    girl:Yes. and this one will be too if u sit down.

    see that wasn’t so bad but you guys need to put a lil more effort into your work cuz thats just embarrisng…..love you always

  40. well these are kinda boring……butt hey don’t get me wrong sum are kinda funny for example.

    boy:”is this seat empty?”

    girl:Yes. and this one will be too if u sit down.

    see that wasn’t so bad but you guys need to put a little more effort into your work because that’s just emberrising…..love you always

  44. Guy: you wanna dance?
    Girl: no
    Guy: i’m sorry i think you missunderstood me, i said you look fat in those pants

  46. what’s wrong with you people?! these jokes are hilarious! its so irritating when a guy thats really into himself hits on you and you just wanna be left alone. these are like the bug spray to keep the pests away. loved em.

  49. Hey, you guys would be a lot better if you guys had more jokes and comebacks lines…you should have something where you let readers contribute pick-up lines.

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