Funny Pickup Lines Comebacks

Funny comebacks to stupid, dumb and funny pickup lines.

Here’s some funny responses to have in mind, just in case some guy tries any “clever”, funny or dumb pick up lines on you.

Top pick up line comebacks:

Man: “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman: “Maybe. I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”

Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”

Man: “Is this seat empty?”
Woman: “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”

Man: “So, wanna go back to my place ?”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”

Man: “Your place or mine?”
Woman: “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”

Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman: “It’s in the phone book.”
Man: “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”

Man: “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman: “I’m a female impersonator.”

Man: “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”
Woman: “Do not Enter”

Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized !”

Man: “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason”
Woman: “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!”

Man: “I know how to please a woman.”
Woman: “Then please leave me alone.”

Man: “I want to give myself to you.”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”

Man: “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy:
Woman: “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing”.

Man: “Your body is like a temple.”
Woman: “Sorry, there are no services today.”

Man: “I’d go through anything for you.”
Woman: “Good! Let’s start with your bank account. Then the door.”

Man: “I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: “Yes, but would you stay there?

It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checking you out.
Oh, sorry, I’m reserved for someone else.

This may be the all time most memorable response to a pick up line. From Erin Brockovich, starring Julia Roberts. Remember this scene?

George: Can I get your number?
Erin Brockovich: My number? Which one do you want?
George: How many numbers you got?
Erin Brockovich: Oh, I got numbers comin’ outta my ears. For instance: ten.
George: Ten?
Erin Brockovich: Yeah. That’s how many months old my baby girl is.
George: You got a little girl?
Erin Brockovich: Yeah. Yeah, sexy, huh? How ’bout this for a number? Six. That’s how old my other daughter is, eight is the age of my son, two is how many times I’ve been married – and divorced; sixteen is the number of dollars I have in my bank account. 850-3943. That’s my phone number, and with all the numbers I gave you, I’m guessing zero is the number of times you’re gonna call it!



Page Topic: Funny Pickup Lines Comebacks



84 thoughts on “Funny Pickup Lines Comebacks”

  1. Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put “u” and “i” together.

    Girl: Really? If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put “f” and “u” together.

  2. guy: you wanna dance
    guy:hey i was wondering why you wear a bra since you have nothin 2 fill it
    girl:well you wear pants, dont you?

  3. Boy: Why dont you come over to my place?
    Girl: Sorry im allergic to monkeys.
    Boy: What do you mean?
    Girl: I cant go to the zoo.

  4. these comebacks are funny ilike them
    u so ugly they used your face for halloween

    u so dumb u eat red crayons cause you think they taste like cherry
    your teeth so yellow they look like you eat yellow crayons

  5. *you don’t wash your hands in the bathroom*

    Person: Didn’t your mother teach you to wash your hands after you pee?

    You: She also taught me not to get pee on them.

  6. i think your jokes are ok some are from other sites and you need to think of more funny and interesting jokes and sesible ones for kids to read NO dirty ones!

  7. BOY:if i could rearrange the alphabet i would put u and i together.

    GIRL:thats ok i like the alphabet the way it is with n and o put together.

  8. these jokes are soooooooo funny, if people dont like them they dont have to read all of them just get off the freakin website huh now how bout that???????

  9. these are hilarious if people dont like them dont waste your time commenting just get off the freakin website

  10. i have nothing 2 say besides no way in a million years would i use any of these sorry but its true they may be funny….

  11. loved the one about the guy askN the girl to dance and she says no….guys says im sorry you must have misunderstD me..i look fat in them paints….ahhahahhahaahahahahah

  12. ok i’ve seen these a thousand times. how about this one:

    guy: how about me and you go in the bathroom and have some fun? ;)
    girl: hmmm you know what? sure, i guess i can spare two minutes.

  13. laammee.
    The comments are funnier.

    Boy: Can i borrow a pen?
    Girl: sure

    *gives him a pen*

    Boy: This pen doesnt work
    Girl: Yeah it does
    Boy: No it doesnt. Go ahead and try it. *takes out a piece of paper* Now just write you number right there.


  15. guy:can i have your number?
    girl: yea here.
    *guy takes his phone out*
    1800 – g e t – l o s t

  16. guy: did it hurt?
    girl: what?
    guy: when u fell from heaven?
    girl: no. i hurts me to talk to you tho.

Leave a Comment