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Funny Bulletin and Church Service Announcement


More real mistakes and mistatements from Church Sunday service bulletins and announcements.Some of these are mildly amusing, some are really funny, and some approach hilarious.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our
choir practice.


Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.


Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.


Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.


The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.


The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.


This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.


Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.


The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next week.


Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.


The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.


Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.


Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.


The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge. – Up Yours.”

 

 

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Comments

7 Responses to “Funny Bulletin and Church Service Announcement””

  1. Kay Cude Says:
    January 30th, 2008 at 12:41 pm

    These are great! Some of the best humor is from church bulletins prepared by God-loving and fearing people. We love our Lord, but we just can’t type. Not only that, we are overly familiar with dangling participles!

  2. EvgenBlya Says:
    June 27th, 2008 at 9:24 am

    What’s your favorite place to download movies? Feel free to share your secret places ;)

    Places what I already know:
    1. eDonkey2000 network. Disadvantage of this way is that neccesery to download eD2k client. By the way eMule is the best eD2k client I know. Hard to find movie you exectly need. To many fake files in this network. And download speed sometimes very slow. But really HUGE number of movies available. Absolutely free.

    2. Torrent trackers. Well known and the biggest trackers like Demonoid and The Pirate Bay contains lot’s of files, but as in eD2k sometimes takes to much time to find what you need, not fake and in good quality. Absolutely free.

    3. File sharing servers like RapidShare. Lot’s of sites post links to file sharing servers with movies. But because of file size limit 100mb movies divided in 10-15 parts, and it’s really annoying to download them without premium account. And premium account cost money.

    4. Special movie downloads sites. Movie downloads sites like Movie Downloads Library provide high quality movies in any format you need. If you need a video for your iPod and you download full 1,4Gb movie from torrent tracker, you need to do it yourself, download special software and convert file. It’s really nice to download movies like , to iPod and watch them on the way to work/study. But you need to pay for this pleasure ;) Not much, but still …

    5. Other. Please feel free to write your places where you download movies. Maybe I still don’t know some interesting places.

  3. Orelebate Says:
    January 21st, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    Nothing seems to be easier than seeing someone whom you can help but not helping.
    I suggest we start giving it a try. Give love to the ones that need it.
    God will appreciate it.

  4. Advicledife Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 4:31 am

    Продаются земельные участки от собственника
    20-25 соток, от 100.000 руб за сотку
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  5. Эрик Says:
    May 30th, 2009 at 10:17 am

    На Ваш сайт знакомый в аську ссылку кинул. Оказалось ,что не зря :) Понравилось. Тепрь все время читать буду :)

  6. Василий Петров Says:
    June 21st, 2009 at 2:37 am

    Крутая статья, мне кажется что вам нужно в какие нибудь журналы специальные писать :)

  7. Projekty Domów Says:
    December 29th, 2010 at 10:47 pm

    Your joking, right?

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