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Tag: wedding humor

Daily Quick Break: April 23, 2008: Funny Wedding Jokes

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed.

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Funny Wedding Jokes, Marriage Jokes and humorous stories
For Wedding Toasts, Sermons, Speeches, Rehearsal Dinner Stories, etc.

Good Wedding Jokes: The Donkey Trick

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town, and on this special occasion, a local newspaper reporter paid them a visit. He inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

“Well,” explained the husband, “it all goes back to our honeymoon. We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule.”

“We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s mule stumbled. My wife quietly said ‘That’s once.’ We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly spoke: ‘That’s twice.’ We hadn’t gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My wife promptly removed a revolver from her purse, hopped down off the beast, and shot the mule dead.”

“I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, ‘That’s once.’

The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him.

To read the rest, go to: Funny Wedding Jokes

Daily Quick Break: April 8, 2008: Funny Wedding Quotes by New English Students

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed.

Quick Break Pic of the Day. Caption this Pic!

 

Some of the funniest Wedding Quotes:

I have something exciting to tell you.
My girlfriend and I got enraged last night!

I really believe our wedding will last until we die.

What does it mean:
“I would like to propose to some toast?

If he is really the best man,
why isn’t she marrying him instead?

The groom was wearing
A very nice croissant.

To read the rest, go to: Funny Wedding Quotes by New English Students

Wedding Jokes and Quotes

 

 

Here are some pretty good jokes about nuptials, weddings, tying the knot. You get the idea.

 

 

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!).

 

 

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

 

 

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next
day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
“You can have mine.”

 

 

Before marriage, a man years for the woman that he loves. After marriage, the “y” becomes silent.

 

 

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “mommy, why does the girl wear white?” his mom replies, “the bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.” the boys thinks about this, and then says, “well then, why is the boy wearing black?…”

 

 

The three ring joke: Did you know that every wedding involves three rings? Before the wedding, there’s the engagement ring. At the wedding, there’s the wedding ring. Ten years after the wedding, then comes the suffer-ring.

 

 

Two cannibals just finished a big meal and one turns to the other while rubbing his stomach with his fist and says, “You know, I just ate my mother-in-law, and she still doesn’t agree with me!”

 

 

Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating
the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife,
“Please take the wheel, Dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and dock it.”
So she drove the boat to shore.
Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television. She sat down next to him,
switched the TV channel, and said to him, “Please go into the kitchen, dear. Pretend I’m having a heart attack and set the table, cook dinner and wash the dishes.”

 

 

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

 

 

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, ‘Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?’ The other replied, ‘Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.’

 

 

There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.
Her explanation – “If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels.”

 

 

Page Topic: Wedding Jokes