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Tag: kids jokes

Funny Jokes for Children

 

 

Here are some more clean, funny kids jokes for kids and children

 

 

What do you get when you peel a banana?
A pair of slippers!

 

 

I dreamed I ate a 15 lb marshmallow and when I woke up my pillow was gone.

 

 

A Little boy wrote a letter to God, asking him for $100.
He addressed to envelope “God”, put his return address on it, and dropped it in the corner mailbox.
The postmaster thought this was such a nice gesture from a young child and decided to sent this letter on to President.
The President was so touched by the little boy’s sincerity that he told his secretary to send the boy $5.
Upon receiving the money, the boy wrote the following thank you letter:
“Dear God-
Thank you for the money. I noticed you sent it through Washington D.C. and of course, they have deducted $95.
Love, Joey”

 

 

Teacher: What’s the longest word in the English language?
Pupil: Smiles – because there is a mile between the first and last letters!

 

 

A little boy wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he tapped his teacher on the shoulder and said, “I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking.”

 

 

Q. What did the frog order at McDonald’s?
A. French flies and a diet Croak.

 

 

Q. What button won’t you find in a tailor’s shop?
A. A Belly button!

 

 

Q: What kind of hair do oceans have?
A: Wavy!

 

 

Q. How did the farmer fix his jeans?
A. With a cabbage patch!

 

 

The teacher told Jack that his paper about his cat was the same as his brother’s. She asked if he copied it. “No teacher, Jack explained, “It’s the same cat!”

 

 

Johnny threw the clock out the window. His father asked him why. “I heard you say time flies,” he answered.

 

 

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later…. “Da-d….”
“What?”
“I’m thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?”
“No. You had your chance. Lights out.”
Five minutes later: “Da-aaaad…..”
“WHAT?”
“I’m THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??”
“I told you NO! If you ask again, I’ll have to spank you!!”
Five minutes later……”Daaaa-aaaad…..”
“WHAT!”
“When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?”

 

 

Page Topic: Child Jokes

 

 

Kid Jokes

 

 

Here are some good funny and clean kid’s jokes and children’s jokes.

 

 

How do you fix a broken chimp?
With a monkey wrench!

 

 

How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!

 

 

How do you train King Kong?
You hit him with a rolled up newspaper building!

 

 

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!

 

 

Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!

 

 

What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
It let out a little wine!

 

 

A little boy wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he tapped his teacher on the shoulder and said, “I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking.”

 

 

The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, “What did you learn today?”
The kid replies, “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”

 

 

Early one morning, a lady went in to wake up her son. “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school!”
“But why Mom? I don’t want to go.”
“Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”
“Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!”
“Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”
“Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”
“Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the Principal!”

 

 

Why don’t sharks like to eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!

 

 

Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station!

 

 

Page Topic: Kid Jokes