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Daily Quick Break: April 7, 2008: Funny School Excuse Notes

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These are excuse notes that school secretaries have actually received. Some of these were in an article in the Detroit News back in the 1970s.

“Please excuse John for being absent Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and 33.”

“Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sour throat.”

“Please excuse Joey Friday. He had loose vowels.”

“Please excuse Joyce from jim today.”

“Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. He fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.”

“Karl was hit yesterday playing football.

To read the rest, go to: Funny School Excuse Notes

Funny Auto Insurance Claim Excuses


These excuses were on accident claim forms of a major insurance company.  Clients were asked for a brief statement describing their particular car accident, and this is what they wrote.

1. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.


2. I thought my window was down but found it was up when I put my hand through it.


3. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.


4. The guy was all over the place. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.


5. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.


6. The accident occured when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.


7. I was driving my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.


8. I was on my way to the doctor’s with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.


9. As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.


10. The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.


11. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.


12. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.


13. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.


14. When I saw I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.


15. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran him over.


16. I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.


17. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.


18. The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

Funny School Excuse Notes


These are excuse notes that school secretaries have actually received. Some of these were in an article in the Detroit News back in the 1970s.


“Please excuse John for being absent Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and 33.”


“Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sour throat.”


“Please excuse Joey Friday. He had loose vowels.”


“Please excuse Joyce from jim today.”


“Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. He fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.”


“Karl was hit yesterday playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.”


“John was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.”


“Please excuse Gloria. She has been sick and under the doctor.”


“Please excuse Sarah from being absent yesterday. She was sick and I had her shot.”


Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.


Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.


My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.


Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.


Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps


Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.


“Please excuse Johnny for being. It was his father’s fault.”

 

 

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