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Innocent English Mistakes From New English Language Students


These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor book.Food

Do you like this food?
I made it from scratching!

I never liked mushrooms,
but now they are starting to grow in me.

Do you like your coffee cremated?

Tomorrow I will go to a wine and cheese cutting party.

Every morning I have some toast
and a big glass of flute juice.
* * * * *

Did you have breakfast?

Yes. Now it is in my backpack.

My friends visited last night and
we served a nice pig dinner.

My favorite food is crap cakes.

My mother is usually already
cooked one or two hours before dinner.

A good lice cooker can keep your
lice warm and eatable for two days.

My sister exploded in the microwave with a potato!

I think that if there is a beautiful waitress in one restaurant and a normal one in the second, and they both taste the same, most people will visit the first one.

Would you like a potato wedgie?

I usually worm up my food before I eat it.

My stomach is so crowded.
I ate ten or twenty Buffalo wigs.

Would you like some?
No thanks. I just ate some chickens.

It took twenty minutes for the waiter
to take my odor.

When my roommates ate my cook,
they pretended it was delicious.

Are you hungry? I have dirty toes.
You have what?
Dirty toes. In my back pack.
Um, can you spell that?
Maybe D-O-R-I-T-O-S. Do you
Want to try one?
No thanks. I’m not so hungry
right now.

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Comments

4 Responses to “Innocent English Mistakes From New English Language Students””

  1. magic_peter Says:
    November 20th, 2008 at 5:53 am

    I think i just peed a little

  2. katiekate Says:
    December 7th, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    your site is amazing. i love it !!!
    you have made my day .
    thanks :)

  3. Donna Says:
    March 1st, 2009 at 12:11 am

    This is so hilarious I peed myself!

  4. Laura Says:
    October 27th, 2010 at 11:28 pm

    That was awesome. I could barely breath after reading those.

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