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Top 20 Insults and Sarcastic Phrases for Use at Work and the Office.

1. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
3. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
4. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t care.
5. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
6. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
7. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
8. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
9. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
10. How about never? Is never good for you?
11. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
12. You sound reasonable…Time to up my medication.
13. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
14. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…
15. It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.
16. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
17. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
18. Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
19. If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
20. Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

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Comments

16 Responses to “Top 20 Insults and Sarcastic Phrases for Use at Work and the Office.””

  1. curtis Says:
    May 23rd, 2008 at 2:57 am

    some of these are funny some are not but the persentace of funny ones is 0.9%

  2. Anonymous Says:
    May 30th, 2008 at 11:49 am

    5. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
    easy to counter with something like
    not much change since u growth up
    u just became fat and ugly
    or
    but your still stupid

  3. AndyKruyer Says:
    July 7th, 2008 at 8:40 am

    coolashaker!!

  4. Anonymous Says:
    September 16th, 2008 at 6:33 pm

    i like two

  5. sequen~angel Says:
    October 5th, 2008 at 11:38 am

    That’s funny. “not much change since u grew up
    u just became fat and ugly”. ha.

  6. Seeker333 Says:
    November 28th, 2008 at 1:31 am

    Did grandma help write these insults, or were they past down from great grandma?

  7. Anonymous Says:
    April 8th, 2009 at 1:12 pm

    #6 isn’t funny.

  8. Anonymous Says:
    May 21st, 2009 at 4:43 am

    Dimitrio)…. Innocent comment,:-) I think,That’s all bull-shit.

  9. Anonymous Says:
    September 1st, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    It’s not that it’s too expensive it’s just that you cant afford it!

  10. Anonymous Says:
    September 20th, 2009 at 1:51 am

    i like the 1st one

  11. Andrew Galvan Says:
    December 5th, 2009 at 3:24 am

    Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

  12. Erin Says:
    December 16th, 2009 at 9:36 am

    These are soooo lame!

  13. Anonymous Says:
    December 17th, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    They pretend to be sarcastic, not funny.

  14. crappy stuff Says:
    July 22nd, 2010 at 9:29 pm

    well idk this are somewhere between lame and stupid, maybe just a little of both haha ANDREW GALVAN haha that insult is pretty awesome good job :P

  15. steph Says:
    August 17th, 2010 at 7:30 pm

    welll theseee insulttss are wondrtfull <3 lovee yass cal me ;)

  16. ryan arkwright Says:
    March 27th, 2011 at 6:36 pm

    I could of been your dad but the dog beat me up the stairs

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