Funniest sayings and witty quotes 8: more humorous sayings and silly or witty quotes

Here are some more humorous sayings and silly or witty quotes


Religion cannot be without morality, but morality may arrive without religion.


Roses are FF0000, violets are 0000FF, all of my base are belong to you.


Save the whales. Collect the whole set.


Save water – take a bath with your neighbor’s daughter.


Send lawyers, guns and money!


Sex is like air; it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.


Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.


Sex on tv can’t hurt unless you fall off.


Sleep: a completely inadequate substitute for caffeine.


Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.


Smith & Wesson: the original point and click interface.


Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.


Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.


Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.


Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.


Some people wish to get what they deserve, while others fear the same.


Sometimes a majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.


Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.


Spelling is a lossed art.


Stop searching. Happiness is right next to you.


Support your local Search and Rescue unit. Get lost.


Sure, when… – oink flap oink flap – well I’ll be darned!


Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.


Take it easy, and if you get it easy take it twice.


Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.


Teamwork is essential – it allows you to blame someone else.


The Killer Ducks are coming!


The Stock Market always does what you think it will, but rarely when.


The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.


The beatings will continue until morale improves.


The best things in life aren’t things.


The chance of a piece of bread falling the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.


The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.


The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.


The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they’re going to be when you kill them.


The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.


The future will be better tomorrow.


The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it.


The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out.


The only certain thing in life is death.


The only job you start at the top is digging a hole.


The only really decent thing to do behind a person’s back is pat it.


The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.


The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.


The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.


The problem with the future is it turns into the present.



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