Best one liners 7: More of the best stupid and witty one liners

Here are some more of the best stupid and witty one liners

 

Matrimony isn’t a word, it’s a sentence.

 

Maybe this world is another planet’s hell.

 

Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. ‘No’ is the answer.

 

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

 

Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.

 

Money should be utilized as a tool. You just gotta know which nuts to screw.

 

Most people don’t act stupid – it’s the real thing.

 

Mother told me to be good, but she’s been wrong before.

 

Never argue with a fool, they will lower you to their level and then beat you with experience.

 

Never buy a car you can’t push.

 

Never call a man a fool. Borrow from him.

 

Never eat yellow snow.

 

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

 

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

 

Never interrupt your enemy while they are making a mistake.

 

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

 

Never tell a lie unless it is absolutely convenient.

 

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

 

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

 

Never underestimate the power of a small tactical nuclear weapon.

 

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

 

Never, ever make absolute, unconditional statements.

 

No good deed goes unpunished.

 

No life is totally wasted, one can always be a bad example.

 

No one dies a virgin, life screws them all.

 

No-one suspects the butterfly!

 

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

 

Not all men are fools… Some are bachelors.

 

Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.

 

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

 

Of course there’s no reason for it, it’s just our policy.

 

Old age is nothing to worry about, except if you’re a cheese.

 

Old soldiers never die. Young ones do.

 

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it’s hard to get it back in.

 

One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.

 

Only dead fish go with the flow.

 

Only the winners decide what were war crimes.

 

Optimist: Someone without much experience.

 

People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people.

 

Pretend to spank me – I’m a pseudo-masochist!

 

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

 

Quando omni flunkus moritati – when all else fails, play dead.

 

Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand.

 

Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn’t want to live there.

 

Reality is for people who can’t handle drugs.

 

Rehab is for quitters.

 

 

Page Topic: More of the best stupid and witty one liners