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Dumb sayings 5: More of the top really dumb sayings

Here are some more of the top really dumb sayings

 

I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.

 

I’m not normally a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman!

 

I’m not paranoid, they really are after me.

 

If 50 million people say a foolish thing, it’s still a foolish thing.

 

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

 

If I look confused it’s because I’m thinking.

 

If a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn’t get very far.

 

If a man tells a woman she’s beautiful she’ll overlook most of his other lies.

 

If all the cars on the Earth were lined up bumper to bumper, some idiot would try to pass them.

 

If all the girls in Australia were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.

 

If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

 

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

 

If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.

 

If at first you don’t succeed, give up, no use being a damn fool.

 

If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.

 

If at first you don’t succeed, quit; don’t be a nut about success.

 

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.

 

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

 

If at first you don’t succeed, try a shorter bungee.

 

If blind people wear sunglasses, why don’t deaf people wear earmuffs?

 

If everything seems to be going right, you obviously don’t know what the hell is going on.

 

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

 

If god is inside us, then I hope he likes Fajita’s, cause that’s what he’s getting.

 

If god is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

 

If homosexuality is a disease, can I call into work ‘gay’?

 

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?

 

If it’s stupid but works, it isn’t stupid.

 

If life gives you lemons, stick them down your shirt and make your boobs look bigger.

 

If oranges smell like chicken, why are tomatoes blue? Think about it!

 

If the early bird catches the worm, what about the worm?

 

If the opposite of pro is con, then what must be the opposite of progress?

 

If things get any worse, I’ll have to ask you to stop helping me.

 

If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.

 

If we don’t protect freedom of speech, we will never know who the assholes are.

 

If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.

 

If we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.

 

If you are going through hell, keep going.

 

If you are going to walk on thin ice you might as well dance.

 

If you are not committing any sins, you are probably not having a lot of fun.

 

If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit.

 

If you can see this, you’re not blind, which is a very good start.

 

If you can’t learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.

 

If you can’t remember, the claymore is pointed towards you.

 

If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

 

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

 

If you didn’t get caught, did you really do it?

 

 

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Comments

3 Responses to “Dumb sayings 5: More of the top really dumb sayings””

  1. hehe Says:
    June 15th, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    if a quiz is quizzical, then what’s a test? lol

  2. a dragon Says:
    December 6th, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    If life gives you lemons make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it.

  3. Brandon Says:
    February 20th, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

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