Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed.
1) Golden eagles have an interesting way of mating, where they connect in the air while flying at eighty miles an hour and then they start dropping and they don’t stop dropping until the act is completed. So it’s not uncommon that they both fall all the way to the ground, hit the ground and both of them die. That’s how committed they are to this. I thought to myself, ‘Boy, don’t we feel like wimps for stopping to answer the phone.’ I don’t know about you, but if I’m one of these two birds, you’re getting close to the ground… I would seriously consider fakin’ it.”
2) I’m a godmother, that’s a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that’s cute, I taught her that.
3) My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.
4) Just go up to somebody on the street and say “You’re it!” and just run away.
5) I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It’s been about two months since I’ve worked out. And I just don’t have the time. Which uh.
To read the rest, go to: Top 20 Funny Ellen DeGeneres Jokes, Quotes and Sayings