Funny Wedding Toasts, Quotes and Jokes

Here are some funny wedding toasts you can use:

“To the newlyweds: May “for better or worse” be far better than worse.”
– Unknown

It don’t matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home!

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
Lao Tzu



Page Topic: Funny Wedding Toasts



After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
-Mark Twain

“If it weren’t for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.”
– Unknown

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar — a practice which is still continued.
Helen Rowland

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.
-Ogden Nash

I met in the street a very poor young man who was in love. His hat was old, his coat worn, his cloak was out at the elbows, the water passed through his shoes — and the stars through his soul.
– Victor Hugo

If you cannot inspire a woman with love of you, fill her above the brim with love of herself; all that runs over will be yours.
-Charles Caleb Colton

A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride’s side and groom’s side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar… So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.

When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, “I was being the Ring Bear….”

1 thought on “Funny Wedding Toasts, Quotes and Jokes”

  1. Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.

Leave a Comment