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Old Cinderella: Cinderella at 95 Joke

Happily ever after. What does that even mean? Every fairy tale told seems to end with this phrase, “happily ever after” but I am thinking that the authors are just getting lazy and glazing over the final details. Even if the Cinderella story finished with “and the prince ran away with the ugly stepsisters and lived together in a polygamous relationship” I think the author would have finished up the story with a broken hearted Cinderella and “everyone lived happily ever after.” There’s no real closure, just postponement of the inevitable! Read below for a rare glimpse of the happily ever after that Cinderella gets as she gets old…

Cinderella at 95

Cinderella is now 95 years old.

After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, enjoying the companionship of her old cat, Bob.

One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, her fairy godmother suddenly appeared.

Cinderella said, “Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?”

Fairy Godmother replied, “Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. I have three wishes to grant you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?”

Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish: “The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I’m living hand to mouth on my disability checks, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension.”

Instantly, her rocking chair turned into solid gold.

Cinderella exclaimed, “Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother!”

Fairy Godmother replied, “It is the least that I can do, my dear. What do you want for your second wish?”

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, “I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had.”

At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years.

And then the fairy godmother spoke once more. “You have one more wish, my dear. What shall it be?”

Cinderella looked over to the frightened cat in the corner and said, “I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man.”

Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological makeup that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.

Fairy Godmother said, “Congratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy your new life.” And with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she had appeared.

For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other’s eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.

Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young, muscular arms.

He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered …

“Bet you’re sorry you had me neutered!”

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