Blonde Jokes



Funny Blonde Pic



No, these aren’t jokes FOR blondes, they are jokes ABOUT blondes. The jokes FOR blondes are in the kids jokes section…



A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn’t jump, and the redhead replied, “I’ll take that bet!”
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, “I can’t take this, you’re my friend.” The blonde said, “No. A bet’s a bet.”
So the redhead said, “Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o’clock news, so I can’t take your money.”
The blonde replied, “Well, so did I, but I never thought he’d jump again!”



This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and detects the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK.
She replies, “Yes.”
He asks what she is doing.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has on a ski jacket and a fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, “For best results, put on two coats.”



Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn’t. The blond with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, “Hurry up! It’s starting to rain and the top is down.”



There is a blonde on a plane to New York. She is sitting in the first class section, but her ticket says that she should be in the coach section. A flight attendant realizes the blonde’s mistake and asks her politely to move. The blonde won’t move. All she says is, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York.”
The flight attendant goes and tells all of the other flight attendants. They all try to persuade the blonde to move, but she won’t move. All she says is, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York.”
The flight attendants go and tell the pilot about the obnoxious blonde. They tell him the only thing that she says. He puts the plane on auto-pilot and whispers something in the blonde’s ear.
Immediately, she gets up and moves to her normal seat. Then the pilot goes back to fly the plane. The flight attendants are all very curious about how the pilot made the blonde move so quickly.
They ask him and he says, “Oh, it was easy. All I had to do was tell her that the first class section wasn’t going to New York!”



A blonde was driving down the motorway when her car phone rang. It was her husband, urgently warning her, “Honey, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on the M25. Please be careful!”
“It’s not just one car!” said the blonde.
“There’s freaking hundreds of them!”



A blonde got a fishing rod for her birthday and decided to go ice fishing. So, early the next morning, she got all her gear and headed out. When she reached her destination she cut a hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said, “There’re no fish in there”. So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish there. So she moves again and the voice tells her there are no fish there. So she looks up and see’s a man looking down at her. “How do you know there are no fish there?” So the man coolly says “Well first of all this is a hockey rink and you’re going to have to pay for those holes.



Real Blonde Moments: One night we were having church when the lights went out. We were all looking around trying to find the problem when my blonde Aunt Debbie ran outside. In just a few short minutes she came running back inside the church and as serious as she could be, said, “Hey you guys my lights are working in my car.”



Page Topic: Blonde Jokes



19 thoughts on “Blonde Jokes”

  1. a blonde wanted to go fishing so she got her rod and went out.when she got to her destination she cut a hole in the ice but heard a voice say you wont find any fish here so she cut 6 more holes and still heard the same thing except on the 6 when she asked is that you god.the voice replies no im the manager of the hockey rink

  2. theres three girls a brunette, redhead and a blonde there all stranded on an island and they all get three wishes each the brunette wishes she was back home with her family and redhead wishes she was aswell
    but….. then the blonde sais im lonley i wish for my friends bak hahahha

  3. A blonde yells out to another blonde across a stream .. “HOW DO I GET TO THE OTHERSIDE ” , the blonde yells back ..” YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE ” !

  4. A blonde gets pulled over for speeding by a blonde police lady . The police lady says “licence please” , as the blonde in the car goes thru her purse she says ” what does that look like again ? ” , The police lady replies “its small ,square shaped and has your picture on it” , the blond in the car pulls out her makeup mirror see’s her face in it and says “oh here it is ” , and hands it to the cop . The blonde cop looks at it and says “Oh you can go , I didnt realise you were a police woman as well ” !

  5. There is a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. They are all running from the police. They find a potato farm and decide to hide in potato sacks. The first cop pokes the first sack and the brunette says: “meow”. So the first cop thinks it is a cat. The second cop pokes the second sack and the redhead says “woof”. So the second cop thinks it is a dog. The third cop pokes the third sack and the blonde says: “potato”. LOL I LOVE THAT JOKE!

  6. i dont get the joke about the church and the lady says her car lights are on? will someone explain it please?

  7. there is a double-decker bus…brunettes on the bottom and blondes on the top. there brunette’s were having a good time while the blond’s were petrified! one of the brunette’s went to see wat all the fuss was about. the brunette said “wat is wrong’ a blonde replies “we have no driver’

  8. omg these jokes r funny as hell, specially the one about the blonde and the red head making a bet….priceless XD

  9. A blonde, redhead and brunette run to the top of a burning building. Below firemen hold a streched out sheet and tell the redhead to jump. She says “will it catch me?” The firemen reply “yes”. So the redhead jumps and falls towards the sheet. But before she reaches it they pull the sheet away and she hits the floor. Then they shout up to the brunette “jump we’ll catch you” she beleives them and jumps off the building. As she falls they do the same again. Then they shout up to the blonde “jump we’ll catch you”. She says she doesn’t beleive them so shouts ” I don’t trust you’ll catch me so just put the sheet down and back away” after she jumps and well she hits the floor too.

    abit funny but only when you get it completely lol =L

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