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–Where’ll I put it, Miss Collins? –You can choke on it for all I care. Just get it out of your mouth. 1. Carrie, was it one of the girls? Did one of the girls do something to you? 2. No. 1. Well, what is it then? You can trust me, you know that? 2. … Read more

–He was a very annoying man. –The gun man? –No, the gun man was very polite. –How come I never get to be the hostage? –That’s because you’re a girl. –Hey, girls can be hostages, too. I mean, we’re moving toward the twenty-first century and girls can be whatever they want. –I’d say you picked … Read more

1) What would you like to see on your honeymoon? 2) Lots and lots of ceilings. As for this, I’ve seen it. Twice. You had good lighting and a bad director. Didn’t I hold your hand like a schoolboy, never once touching you below the neck or above the knee? And in five minutes didn’t … Read more