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(1) Do you remember what she looked like? (2) Yes. She looked like a girl. She looked like a million other girls. Ok? (1) How do you connect them? (2) Oh I don’t know, 20 years of experience and having serial killers on the brain (1) I miss men (2) Oh and what am I … Read more

–You arrested a waiter? –Jake, he was rude. –Norman, you can’t arrest people for being rude. If you could, all of New York City would be on death row. Breakfast, everyone. Do you know what smoking does to you? It stunts your growth, it yellows your teeth, and blackens your lungs. Is that what you … Read more

–How do you think this makes me look. –Go home and don’t think so much. –See sheriff, I got a sticky problem. My jurisdiction ends, in a sense, at the George Washington Bridge. But half the men I watch live beyond that bridge, where no one’s watching. –I’m watching. –What brings you to our fair … Read more