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Johnny Smith: Bless me? Do you know what God did for me? He threw an 18-wheeled truck at me and bounced me into nowhere for five years! When I woke up, my girl was gone, my job was gone, my legs are just about useless… Blessed me?! God’s been a real sport to me! –Not … Read more

–Say, when you get on again as a professor at some college and I’m back running my cab in St. Louis, send me a problem in algebra once in a while. –Blonde or brunette? –A redhead in a sloppy-joe sweater. –You know, the trouble with women is they ask too many questions. They should spend … Read more

1) Shit! 2) What? 1) Motherfucker made me lose a pack of cigarettes. 2) A pack of cigarettes? (laughs) I thought you were worried about your leg or something. 1) What, and that’s shit’s funny to you? 2) (stops laughing abrupty) naw,it aint funny.. Ain’t that a groove. Don’t you ever, in your life, bite … Read more