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Tag: work jokes

Daily Quick Break: April 4, 2008: Top 50 Business and Office Slang Terms and expressions for 2007

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Just in case you find yourself lost in the strange and exotic world of office conversations, InnocentEnglish presents the top 50 business slang terms for 2007.  If you read them out loud at work, you might notice some prairie dogging happening in the cube farm.

404 – Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, “404 Not Found,” which means the document requested couldn’t be located. “Don’t bother asking John. He’s 404.”

Adminisphere – The rarified organizational layers above the rank and file that makes decisions that are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant.

Alpha Geek – The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. “I dunno, ask Rick. He’s our alpha geek.”

Assmosis – The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

Betamaxed – When a technology is overtaken in the market by inferior but better marketed competition as in “Microsoft betamaxed Apple right out of the market”

Blamestorming – A group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

Bookmark – To take note of a person for future reference. “After seeing his cool demo at Siggraph, I bookmarked him.”

Brain Fart – A byproduct of a bloated mind producing information effortlessly; a burst of useful information.

To read the rest, go to: Top 50 Business and Office Slang Terms and expressions for 2007

Daily Quick Break: March 21, 2008: Funny Job Jokes: Job One Liners

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Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed.

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Thanks J.T. for sending these one liner jokes about jobs.  Some are pretty funny puns, others are painful.  But most of these quick one liner jokes about jobs are pretty clever, you have to admit…  

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn’t concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.

Then I tried to be a chef–figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn’t have the thyme.

Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.

To read the rest, go to: Funny Job Jokes: Job One Liners

Daily Quick Break: March 5, 2008: Job Jokes and Puns: My Top 20 Jobs

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Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed.

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 Here’s a story about the jobs I had and tried to get.  My Top 20 Jobs: A punny story.

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn’t concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.

Then I tried to be a chef–figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn’t have the thyme.

Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patients.

To read the rest, go to: Job Jokes and Puns: My Top 20 Jobs