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Tag: funny short jokes

Short Jokes

 

 

Here are some funny short jokes

 

 

I once wrote a book called How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours. It went like this: To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the next sentence. To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the previous sentence.” It didn’t sell very well. I thought with the short attention span of people these days it may have been too long, so I rewrote it. The 2nd edition went: “To keep an idiot busy for hours, re-read this sentence.” It’s doing pretty good. I have a deal for the sequel. The 3rd edition is going to go: “Re-read this line.” Trouble is, I’m not as sharp as I used to be, so it’s become my favorite book to curl up with on a rainy day. It absorbs me for hours.

 

 

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!

 

 

What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.

 

 

What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?
Her New Jersey.

 

 

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, “I have some good news and some bad news.”
The man says, “OK, give me the good news first.”
The doctor says, “The good news is, you have 24 hours to live.”
The man replies, “Oh no! If that’s the good news, then what’s the bad news?”
The doctor says, “The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.”

 

 

Did you hear about the new French tank?
Yeah, it has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes forward in case the enemy attacks from behind.

 

 

A French fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender “Hey , could I get a beer please?”
The bartender looks at him shaking his head and say “No, we don’t serve food here”

 

 

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it’s important.

 

 

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage, we take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”

 

 

Page Topic: Short jokes