Innocent English

1000 Bucks

A man told his son that he would give him $1000 if he could accomplish the following task. The father gave his son ten envelopes and a thousand dollars, all in one dollar bills. He told his son, “Place the money in the envelopes in such a manner that no matter what number of dollars I ask for, you can give me one or more of the envelopes, containing the exact amount I asked for without having to open any of the envelopes. If you can do this, you will keep the $1000.”When the father asked for a sum of money, the son was able to give him envelopes containing the exact amount of money asked for. How did the son distribute the money among the ten envelopes?

The contents or the ten envelopes (in dollar bills) should be as follows: $1, 2,4, 8, 16, 32,64, 128,256, 489. The first nine numbers are in geometrical progression, and their sum, deducted from 1,000, gives the contents of the tenth envelope.

Flying South

Why do birds fly south?

Because it’s too far to walk.

Crowned

Where were English kings usually crowned?

On their heads.

Which Path?

You walk up to a mountain that has two paths. One leads to the other side of the mountain, and the other will get you lost forever. Two twins know the path that leads to the other side. You can ask them only one question. Except! One lies and one tells the truth, and you don’t know which is which. So, What do you ask?

You ask each twin What would your brother say?. This works because…. Well let’s say the correct path is on the left side. So say you asked the liar “What would your brother say?” Well, the liar would know his brother was honest and he would say the left side, but since the liar lies, he would say right. If you asked the honest twin the same question, he would say right, because he knows his brother will lie. Therefore, you would know that the correct path was the left!

Vegetables!

Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

Asparagus and rhubarb.

Seeds on Outside

What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

A strawberry!

Fresh Vegetable!

It’s the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh. What is it?

Lettuce.

What’s the Score?

There’s one “sport” in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. What is it?

Boxing.

Defense’s Ball

Name the only sport in which the ball is always in possession of the team on defense, and the offensive team can score without touching the ball?

Baseball!

L.A. Lakers

Where are the lakes that are referred to in the “Los Angeles Lakers?”

In Minnesota. The team was originally known as the Minneapolis Lakers and kept the name when they moved west.

Two Pitchers

Start with two pitchers, each half full of water. Can you put all of this water into one large pail, and be able to tell which came from which pitcher? You cannot use dividers or the pitchers.

Just freeze the pitchers, and drop the water into the pail as a blocks of ice!

Proven Love

There was a man who wanted to prove his love to his wife. So, he climbed the highest mountain, swam the deepest ocean and walked the biggest desert.
What do you think his wife said?

Nothing. She divorced him for never being at home.

Will Turn 10

The day before yesterday, Chris was 7 years old. Next year, she’ll turn 10. How is this possible?

Today is Jan. 1st. Yesterday, December 31, was Chris’s 8th birthday. On December 30, she was still 7. This year she will turn 9, and next year, she’ll turn 10.

Ice Cream Parlor

Two women and two doctors walk into an ice cream parlor. They each order an ice cream cone. When their ice creams come, there is only 1 strawberry,1 chocolate and 1 vanilla.
How come they didn’t complain?

One of the women was a doctor!

What Do You Do?!

Imagine you are in a room, no doors windows or anything,
how do you get out?

Stop imagining.

Trapped!!

If a man is trapped in a room. There are no doors no windows how did he get out?

Through the door way, there are no doors but a door way!

Odd One

Which word is the odd one out:First Second Third Forth Fifth Sixth Seventh Eighth

Forth. It is incorrectly spelled.

Never in Day

What happens only in the middle of each month, in all of the seasons, except
summer and happens only in the night, never in the day?

The letter ‘N.’

Ten-Pound Notes

Why are 1999 ten pound notes worth more than 1993 ten pound notes?

Because there are more of them!

Neverending!

What ends in a ‘w’ but has no end?

A rainbow!