–What are you drinking?–Cranberry juice. 1: You know who John Lennon was?2: Yeah. He was the president before Lincoln.1: John Lennon said, ‘I’m an artist. Ya gimme a fucking tuba, I’ll get ya something out of it.’2: Well, I’ll tell ya Mr. Costello, I’d like to squeeze some fucking money out of it. 2 pills? … Read more
*Whatcha eatin’ there sport? *Uh Apple. 1. Nobody shoots a marble at my head and sets my pants on fire! 2. But that was an accident! 1. THERE AREN’T GONNA BE NO MORE ACCIDENTS! 1:Can I tell you a story? 2:Is it about flowers and lambs? 1:No. 2:Okay. 1:Do forts got carpet 2:No! 1:Forts don’t … Read more
…I walk around in the summer goin’ ‘How about this HEAT?’!!!! I’m an ASSHOLE!!!!!!!! A-S-S-H-O-L-E! Everybody! A-S-S-H-O-L-E! A-S-S-H-O-L-E!! Everybody! A-S-S-H-O-L-E! I’M AN ASSHOLE!! And my father looks at me like it’s the most normal thing ever. . . like there’s roving gangs of indians around the city. Do we need a 2 and a hour … Read more