Movie Quotes from Shanghai Noon: Quotes from the movie Shanghai Noon

#1- Roy O’Bannon. #2- My name is Chon Wang. #1- John Wayne!? #2 Chon Wang. #1- That’s a terrible cowboy name. #2- Why? #1- No, come on that’s not going to work…that’s horrible and so is the ponytail.

$1,000 for a side kick? That’s just not right….justice system is all screwed up…and shanghai kid thats a really cool nickname.-Roy

(Money is fallin from the roof of Building:) Thank you God.

*Roy shoots and misses* 2: How do you survive out here?? Roy:What is that supposed to mean? These aren’t my guns.

-Mighty fine package you’re carrying here.
-Why don’t you get your eyes off my package you twisted son of a bitch.

1) Did you really dig out with those chopsticks 2) You better believe it

1)Get ready to reep the fruits of our Labour. (BOOM) 2)Roy you just blew the hell out of our fruit.

1)My name is Chon Wang. 2)John Wayne? 1)Chon Wang. 2)That’s a terrible name for a cowboy.

1)See i told you. 2)No you said Wet Shirt Don’t Break not Piss Shirt Bend Bar.

1)They don’t look like any Indians i’ve ever seen Jedadiah. 2)That’s because they’re not Idians woman, they’re Jews.

1)You Gave me bad directions. 2)No I gave you wrong directions.

1. My name is Chon Wayn. 2. John Wayne? 1. Chon Wayn. 2. That’s a terrible cowboy name.

1. They don’t look like no injuns I ever seen Jedediah. 2. Thats cuz their not injuns, woman…..they’re JEWS!

1.(slowly) Where-is-Carson-City? 2.(in another language) Now he’s sayin it slower, that’s really gonna help. 3.(in another language) Pass him the peace pipe, maybe that’ll shut him up.

1.My name is Chon Whayn. 2.Chon Whayn? Thats a terrible cowboy name!

1: Alright guys; the trains about to blow, get ready to reak the fruits of our labor (KABOOM) 2: Uh Roy, he just blew the shit out of our fruits!

1: He took the gold.
2: Is that all you care about, the gold? Shame on you.

1: My duty is to the emperor. 2: This emporer; must be some guy. 1: He is only 12 2: Your telling me your here willing to die for someone whose balls havent even dropped yet.

1: My duty is to the emporer. 2: Geez this emporer; must be some guy! 1: Hes only 12. 2: Are you saying your sitting here with a noose around your neck ready to die for someone whos balls havent evendropped yet!

1: Ok, ive calculated th speed of the train with the speed of our horses. See we will meet the train here— 2: Is that the train? 1:Alright were just gonna wing it, just like we always do!

1: Ooooh… who’s the pretty lady?
2: That’s my wife!
1: How long you been in this country?
2: Four days.
1: Nice work.

1: Why don’t I pretend I’m sick, and then you can attack them when they come in?
2: Oh, does the sick prisoner routine still work in China? ‘Cause here, it’s been done to death.

A 30,000 year old civilization and thats the best you could come up with? Shame on you! shame on you!

a) Why don’t you turn and face me like a man?
b) Why you do it your way and I’ll do it mine.

Ahh….the vultures are eating my head.

All In Native Talk: Don’t worry it could be worse, he could be a white man.

Are you nervous? It’s ok to be nervous when you’re new. I’ll keep my eye on you.

Ask me if I give a shit!

Chang: YOU! You give me bad directions!! Roy: Noooo.. I gave you WRONG directions…. You want your chopsticks back??

Chippe-Chawa’s nobility. And you have it. In Spades

Chon: Hey Roy… it’s you! Roy: Ho-ly SHIT! I’m a wanted man! Look at this! 500 bucks! That’s a lot of money! Chon: Lemme see! Nice picture. Roy: Careful, careful! Wow… look at this. You know what this means… this’ll drive the girls crazy! Chon: Really?!?! Roy: Yes! Really! Let’s get a couple more of these! Chon: I’m a wanted man too! Roy: What? Chon: This! Roy: OH COME ON! That’s not right! Chon: I know. I’m not from Shanghai! Roy: Noo! A thousand dollars for a side- kick?!?! You gotta be kidding me! Chon: Be careful! Roy: The justice system is all screwed up…

Don’t worry, it could be worse — he could be a white guy.

Father, is this my husband-to-be? He’s a toad. If the Emperor is so fond of him, why doesn’t he marry him?

First time seein a cowboy? Scared, kinda excited all rolled into one? (points to gun) Yep… it’s got my initials right there. Y’know last time we robbed this train we were all naked because it was to hot out!

Give him the peace pipe, maybe that will shut him up

Holy crap, vultures are eating my head!

How about that? It’s a Mexican standoff. Only we ain’t got no Mexicans.

I don’t no kaa-ra-tee but I do know kaaaaaaa-razy and I will use it.

I may not know karate, but I know crazy.

I’ll help you rescue Princess Pee Pee.

John Wayne? That’s a terrible cowboy name. That’s not going to work. And neither is the ponytail.

juice it up…

Keep going with the chinese. I think that’s workin’. I think they’re just about to let ya out.

looks like we got us a mexican stand off. only we ain’t got us no mexicans

No mas, Chon…no mas.

No you said wet shirt don’t break, not piss shirt bend bar!

No, no, you said wet shirt won’t break not piss shirt bend bars.

Now he’s saying it slower, like that will help any.

Now I’m gonna have to get rid of my cowboy name, it just won’t work anymore. My real name’s Wyatt Earp.

now look at that: we gots us a mexican standup: cept we aint gots no mexicans

Roy, we always figured you for a dumbshit.

Roy: Chon… get your hand off me. Chon: One more game? Roy: No… no more drinking. That’s it. Chon: Uno mass? Roy: No mass, Chon, no mass.

Roy: Come on. Let’s get going. Chon: No! I don’t want to ride with you! Roy: Come on Chon! Chon: No! NO! Roy: DAMN you’re a mean drunk!

Roy: No, no, no, no, no. Grab this and grab that. Work your magic right here. Chon: (Shakes his head) Too dry. Roy: What… juice it up! Juice it up! Go! Chon: I can’t! No more! Roy: (Grabs the shirt and throws it on the ground) Damn it! Come on out little Roy. Work your magic. Chon: Hurry up. Roy: I’m tryin’, I’m tryin’. Chon: (Looks around to see if everything is coming along alright) Roy: STOP! DON’T LOOK AT ME! Chon: Relax! Relax… it’ll come. Roy: Thanks… that helps.

Shainghai kid: no talk…. just dig ROY: HEY HHHHEEEEEEYYYYY

Shut up, Roy. You talk too much.

So what, with the wet shirt…you bend the bars. Look don’t waste my time with that. A 2000 year old civilization and thats the best you can come up with? Shame on you.

Stop. I’m not gonna let you cheapen it. A duel’s a sacred thing. It’s what separates us from the animals.

That Which you have promised you must perform.

The Marshall: Hmm… mighty impressive hardware you’re packin’. Roy:Get your eyes off my package you twisted son of a bitch.

The sun may rise where we come from, but this is where it sets.

They dont look like any injins i ever seen Jededi. Thats because they ain’t injins woman, there Jews!

This is something about your husband, and this is nothing against him, he comes from a very male-dominated society.

This your first time to see an outlaw?…yeah?…you know the last time we robbed this train we were naked.

UNO MAS (bubbles coming out of his mouth)

uno mas?

We’re not pinatas, we’re men!

Well, he’s not really my friend…I mean, he’s a chinaman.

Well,Looks like we’ve got us a Mexican Stand-off. ‘Cept we ain’t got no Mexicans!

What is this? The Orient-Express?

Why don’t you quit lookin’ at my package you twisted son of a bitch?

You said ‘wet-shirt-don’t-bend’ not ‘piss-shirt-bend-bars!’

You’ve almost killed me like 17 times already! (3 shots are heard) 18…19…20…You’re on fire today!

You’ve lost your ‘winging it’ privileges!

Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Shanghai Noon’: Quotes from the movie ‘Shanghai Noon’

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