Movie Quotes from Longest Yard, The: Quotes from the movie Longest Yard, The

… twinkle twinkle little superstar…..

1) So crew, being an ex-football star, I’m sure you got a lot of hot ass on the outside. 2) Let’s not forget I wasn’t the most popular guy in the world. 1) Don’t give me that shit, OJ chopped his wife’s head off and got some ass.

1. Who we gonna crush? ALL: THE GUARDS! 1. Who we gonna kill? ALL: THE GUARDS!!! 1. Who we gonna kiss? Inmate: THE GUARDS! 1. Gotcha!!!

All I’m saying is you could of robbed banks, sold dope, stole your grandmother’s pension check and none of us would have mind. Shaving points off a football game, man that’s unamerican.

Butch:i got a birdy his name is ronnie Caretaker:well tell ronnie you got knocked the FUCK OUT!!

Caretaker’s manager.

Doc said – Quit football or quit walking. My knee had all the operations it could take. I figured walking was better than sitting. Maybe I made the wrong choice.

Does the N word offend you……..nigger?

Ever do it standing up?

Gay guy: Hey Paul! i just wanted to let you know..that im your number 1 fan, and that ill be cheering my jailhouse boobies off for you..on game day!
Crewe:Thanks ladies, i appreciate ya.
Gay guy: Hey Paul!..i appreciate YOU.;)

Great bunch of guys you got here – strangled both wives with pantyhose, triple murder including body dismemberment, hacked mother with meat cleaver. Charming, charming.

He broke my fuckin’ nose!


How do you like them apples? Superstar.

How much is that worth

i got the shakes that will make u quake , i got the fries that will cross ur eyes i got the burgers well i just got the burgers

I think he broke his fucking neck!

I think I broke his fucking neck!

I think the love has gone out of our relationship.

I’m sorry I brokeded your toy!

Inmate: We won! Group hug in the shower tonight! (all the other inmates stare at him) …or not?

It aint easy being cheesy

Let’s get it on, honey. Come on.

Mean Machine, Mean Machine, Mean Machine . . .

My, you have lovely hair. You ever find any spiders in it?

Now, if it works, I want everyone to hit him. Ready? (Huddle breaks) Blue 69… blue 69… hut!

Now…I want that title. You will give me that title, or you will be out of a job. You and all that overpriced beef you call a team. For all I’ve given you, we should be in the goddamn Superbowl! I’ve lost patience, goddamn it! The gravy train is over. This year, you’re gonna win!

Paul Crewe: Why do you think I did it? Caretaker: For the money.

Paul Crewe: You take your football down here real serious, don’t you?
Caretaker: You mind if I ask you one question?
Paul Crewe: Yes, I do mind!
Caretaker: Why did you do it?
Paul Crewe: It’s a long story.
Caretaker: Well, I got eight years.

Stick this in your trophy case


Switowski: (sniff..sniff) I think I made him shit himself. /Coach Scarborough: I think that guy just shit himself. / Sportscaster: I think that guy just shit himself. /Referee: whew, this guy just shit himself big-time.

Switowski: (sniff..sniff) I think I made him shit himself. Coah Scarborough: I think that guy just shit himself. Sportscaster: I think that guy just shit himself. Referee: whew, this guy just shit himself big-time.

the ugliest helmets in the world

This quote is from the 2005 version- Paul Crewe- So, you any good at sports? Caretaker- I was so bad, they used to pick the white kids before me.
Caretaker- Well we didnt get the whole chocolate bar but we got a hershey kiss

USA quoters – this movie was called Mean Machine in the UK, and has been remade in 2001 set in a British prison, with soccer, and ex professional soccer player Vinny Jones (Snatch, Lock Stock, Swordfish, Gone In 60 Seconds) in the lead role.

What am I, Elton John? I’m not wearing that shit!!!

yeah!!! they won! group hug in the showers tonight

You split when I tell you to split, you All-American son of a bitch!

You’re too expensive to be useless.

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