Movie Quotes from Just Married: Quotes from the movie Just Married

(Door opens) 1: Shut the door bitch…2: (cracks the door open) you know there is a lock 1: Im clostrophobic

(PETER) I’m not afraid of you. I studied martial arts with some of the best Chinese masters.
(TOM) Well, I sure hope they taught you how to pull a fire poker out of your ass!

1) Get that junk wagon out of here! 2) RIGHT AWAY, PRINCESS!!!!!

1) I’ll be there tomorrow to pick up my stuff! 2) Yeah…? Well you better call first because I may be having sex with a COMPLETE STRANGER!!!

1) I’ve been taught by a chinese grand master. 2) Well I hope he taught you how to pull a fire poker out of your a**

1) Ooooh Tom! Welcome to the family! 2) Thank you, Ms. McKerney 1) Oh, it’s Pussy…you can call me Pussy now

1) Open the gate, Yuan. 2) But you and Tom not together no’ more 1)JUST OPEN THE GATE, YUAN!!!!!

1) Sara and I…are going to be happy and married forever 2) Yeah, until the day she finds out you slaughtered her dog.

1) You wanna tell me what happened with Peter? 2) You wanna tell me what happened with ‘red bra’? I hope you used protection! 1) It didn’t get that far…I hope YOU used protection. 2) Sorry..they don’t make condoms that big!

1)We are gonna make out in a snow ball 2) We are gonna die in a snowball

1. It’s our wedding night and we don’t want to have sex? 2. Honey, we have the rest of our married lives to have sex…so it’s okay if we don’t do it tonight 1. Now I kinda want to!

1. Shut the door bitch! 2. You know, there is a lock on the door 1. I’m claustrophobic!

1. So…when are we gonna go back and do the neenooneenooneenoo? 2. Uh yeah, I can’t do that. 1. What? Don’t tell me all the air-humping and cute conversation was for nothing?

1.)the thunderstick 8200? 2.)i gotta charge this baby up 1.) that plug wont fit in a european outlet 3.) ill make it fit!

1.OH MY GOD…Tommorrow my parents are gonna know I’m not a virgin. 2.Honey, you haven’t been a virgin since college. 1. I know, but tomorrow they’re gonna know for sure. 2. And they’re gonna know that you deflowered me! OH GOD!!

1:I’m not going you pay you to tell me where my wife is. 2:In this case you should. 1:(pulls out wallet)

Ah my skull is on fire

Also, added to my quote from above, do not put things in a different language if you don’t even know how to spell it. For instance, the dumbass that put gradse as thank you in italian, no no no. That’s not even close to the correct spelling. As well as the person who spelt claustrophobic as closterphobic, I have to wonder if something’s wrong with you. So why don’t you all learn how to spell right, then double check the quotes, and if you got all that, then maybe you can put your quote in. I’m glad we had this talk.


bonjour! merci! ,bonjour merci!, bonjour! merci!bonjour! merci!bonjour! merci!bonjour! merci!

cheese and rice is that a thunderstck 8200? since when did u become such the expert? i told you about that night i had in college! you didnt tell me about the hardwear! getting a visual? we gotta charge this thing! baby that plug wont fit in a European outlet! I’ll make it fit!

Cheese and Rice!

Cheese and Rice!!!!!


Cockroach! Cockroach!

Cockroach! Cockroach! Cockroach!


Do you have four men staring at your boobies right now? No.

first it was all CAW then it was like eeeeeeeuuuuuuuuugggggghhhhh and bagsy just you know went after it


I had the perfect relationship until it was ruined by marriage.

i mean whats the point of even getting married does it really make sense to be with one person for your ENTIRE life?

I’m back guys, once again you fucked up the quote. You guys really need to stop. That’s why this website sucks because of fuckers like you guys. STOP RUINING THE MOVIE SHITHEADS!

I’ve owned tonka trucks bigger then this car

If I pressed my foot any harder, we’d be Flinstoning our asses!

Im on my honeymoon and you are still trying to have sex with my wife!

Kid on toilet seat: SHUT THE DOOR BITCH!
tom lesack: there is a lock on the door for a reason, jr.
kid on toilet seat: IM CLAUSTRAPHOBIC!

Look, it comes with free nuns.

my grandparents installed the wiring in the hotel before world war first…


No i havent got fruit, but my husbands got 10 pounds of hash hidden up his recktum…

Oh, well that must make you a stupid French………………..FROG!

Ok, if you change your mind, just pass out!

Ok, my quote is that I know this movie front to back, and the majority of these people who put quotes on the website, got them wrong. Don’t put them up if you don’t even know the right words. It ruins the movie, thanks.

Peter-Wheres Tom?
sarah-we dont feel the need to be with eachother all the time

Please spare in mind that our daughter loves him Dan.

sarah- tomorrow we will go sight seeing se u bright in the moring
tom- and then we will have sex

Sarah-This is better than my fantasy
Tom-Good, cause were paying out the ass for it.
Sarah-Honey, just for the record, when you talk about money, especially in reference to coming out of your hiknee, it kinda kills the romance of the moment

SARAH: Gradse*, Gradse*, Gradse*, Gradse* Gradse* GODDAMNIT…

sarah: it’s like living a lie. i cannot live a lie! it’s like there will always big this big elephant in the room with us

sarah:uh, we could really use a dodge right about now! tom: are you mocking me? sarah: no, you just sounded REALLY american. UH we could really use the DODGE right about now. haha

Son of a biatch!

Tell pussy i said hi…~

Thank you SOOO much person from the above two quotes…this is one of favorite movies and all of these people have been ruining the movie for me too. All of you people have, to me anyway, lost all of my respect because for the most part, you’re all dumbasses.

that was the longest frickin piss in italian history


thats yours… (yea it matches perfect with my red leather panties!) ok .. i met a woman at a bar nothing happened.. (you picked up a total stranger at a bar and brought her back to our honeymoon sweet and took off her discusting red bra?) nothing happened(no no no no they just jumped off her barenaked breasts) sarah… (you sit there and make me feel guilty for a kiss a kiss that i didnt even want in the first place!) dont tell me you didnt want it… you wanted it i could see from the balcony that you wanted it!!!

the first sex i had on my honey moon was with a man named santino

The first sex I had on my honeymoon was with a man named Santino!!
And you’re laughing!

The first sex I had on my honeymoon was with a man named Santino…and you’re laughing!!??

This is like the Twilight Zone…do dee do dee do dee do dee

Those birds are psychotic!

Time to grow up Tommy.Somedays your mother & I made love to each other, others days we had to work at it. You never see the hard day in a photo album, but those are the one’s that get you from one happy snap shot to the next.

TOM- we’re in this together.
SARAH- do you have four men staring at your boobies right now?

Tom- Well, maybe he just got here by magic. Oh, wait no… Peter must be a warlock.

Tom-Are you sure you dont wanna marry a guy like peter?
sarah-If i wanted to know exactly what my life would be like from here on out, yeah, i would marry a guy like peter..but i love not knowing.

Tom: ( in a kid’s voice) Hello Peter! So glad you could join us.
Now it’s time for me and Peter to tangle (hits lamp with fire poker)
Welcome to the Honeymoon from Hell, Shitheel
Sarah! you’re acting like a crazy person!
Tom: well, maybe it is b/c it just got hit in the head by a 10lb ashtray!
Peter: I learned karate from a chinese grand master
Tom: well, i hoped he taught you how to pull a fire poker out your ass!!

Tom: i just hope that i can be..
just all that i can be…
in this family…

Tom: Im sorry
Sara: Me too
tOm: I miss you
Sara: I miss you 2
Tom: I miss reckin airplane bathrooms with you
Sara: I miss sleeping in Giant snowballs with you
Tom: and torturing hotel workers
Sara: i miss spending time in prison with you

Tom:he called me a cracker! a cracker honey! Sarah:he did not!Tom: what that surprises you? i mean you dad hates me ‘well wonderful wonderful!’ i mean hes got your whole family praying that this marrige fails.Sarah:Thats not true moms never said a bad word about you!Tom: WOW pussys never insulted me, now i feel loved!

Tom: maybe we should just have sex. Sarah: call me crazy but im just not in the mood to make love. Tom: you know im not either but we havent had sex once since we’ve been on our honeymoon and there is somthing very very wrong with that why are you laughing? i am concerned. Sarah: we’ll get some rest and sitesee tomorrow be fresh in the morning.
Tom: and then we’ll have sex.


We call swat team on your ass!

We can use a dodge about now, um, while i’m makin a doodie can you hadn me my sports section and a beer with that. thank you ma’m

We could really use a dodge right about now

We only see the good times in pictures, but it’s the bad times that get us from one photograph to the next.

we’ll sick the hounds on you Leezak!!!!!!

Well did it teach you how to remove a fire poker out of your ass?

well we are keeping the champanene* and the cheese jock-strap…

Wendy: Insult me, radio man!

wendy: oh my god………i love this song!

whats going on? TOM RAM GATE

who do you think you are, Micheal J. Fox?

Willie: We’ll stick the hounds on you Leezack
Tom: Bring ’em on WILLIE!!!!!!

Wow! Pussy’s never insulted me! Now I feel loved!

Wrong again, fuckers.
By the way, that’s not a quote from the movie seeing as how you dumbasses don’t know the lines anyway, I had to make that clear.

You are like the worst best man ever!!!

You are like the worst best-man EVER!

You don’t want me to be with sarah and I can’t change that. I don’t know where were gonna be in 10, 20, 40 years. I don’t know who were gonna be, I don’t know if im ever going to be able to give her all of this. There are a million things I don’t know but theres one thing that I do and thats that I love sarah and I am going to love her day in and day out for the rest of my life now will u PLEASE, please open the gate so I can tell that to my wife.

You just hit me in the head with a 10lb ashtray

You never see the bad days in a photo album, but those are the ones that get you from one happy photograph to the next.

you never see the hard days in a photo album but those are the ones that get you from one happy snapshot to the next

You never see the hard days in a photo album, but those are the ones that get you from one happy snapshot to the next.

you sat at our wedding, you heard us take our vows! and you still have the nerve to show up on our honeymoon and try to have sex with my wife! YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE!

you stupid french……..FROG!!

Yu Han: We call swat team on your ASS!

Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Just Married’: Quotes from the movie ‘Just Married’

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