1.i had this dream where i killed my self. just stuck a gun in my mouth and bang bang. it was so really real. 2.well if it was that really real i dont htink you would have gotten that second shot off
‘My name is Cliff, brother of Joe, I got me some crack, i need me some hoes! Let me hear ya say yea… LET ME HEAR YA SAY YEA!’
(English accent)Lovely, lovely!
(in british accent)Yeah, I heard you guys were a couple of perverts.
…at the libary…you know where that is, don’t you?
…thats not beer…
1).thats Rachel Gilmore she is from New York and likes creative writing,2).how do you know that?1) freshman face book i’ve been jacking off to it for like 5 weeks now
1)I really shouldn’t be driving, my license was revoked
1)attempted vehicular manslaughter, whatever the FUCK that means!
1)which one of these chicks is for me? 2)what? 1)which one of these chicks is for me? 2)I think they’re lesbions. 1)Oohh! Hey lesbos, how’s it hangin?
1. Do you guys ever get really horny? 2. Depends where you’re going with this.
1. I’m serious when I say I have to study. 2. And I’m serious when I say I have to clean my bong!
1. Whoa. Which one of you painted this? 2. Uhh… I did. 1. It’s soooo smooth.
1. Young man! Where have you been? I was up all night worried sick. Do you know what time it is? 2. I LOVE college. I love everything about it. The people, the freedom. This room. This chair. Look at this chair! 1. You had sex last night didn’t you? 1. That’s a nice shirt.
1.They think we’re making out back here 2. I know they’re totally in the dark!
Bad grades are meaningless, theyâ€™re like parking tickets. So laugh, because theyâ€™re silly, silly little nothings.
cliff) which one of these chicks is for me? (josh) ahh..i think there all lesbians. (cliff) (chokes) LESBIANS…hows it goin lesbos.
Cliff- Im living in a frat house, right, and these fuckers wanna kick me out for not respecting quite hours? well they can just SUCK my quite COCK!
Don’t fuck with my stuff!…please.
dyna, save yourself
Flush off, Flushalls!
Get that out of your pants!
great now everything smells like bong water
he’s kinda spooky Cooper!!
Hey Zeke look it’s a dildo.
How come whenever I’m on fire, I remember to stop, drop, and roll?
I can hear my heartbeat through my penis
I can hear my heartbeat through my penis!
I got some beers. Let’s drink ’em. That one’s not beer.
I guess a blow job’s kinda out of the question
I live in a Frat House, right? And these fuckers wanna kick me out for not observing quiet hour! [shouting] Well, they can SUCK my QUIET COCK!
i’m a fuck up Josh, a total fuck up. i mean, here you are on this lil vacation in ‘Fuck-Up-Land’ but i live here . . . permanetly.
I’m alright, I got a rash on my balls.
I’ve been having a lot of creepy dreams lately Kiss My Ass played the prefinals party and then afterward I had put a gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger BAM BAM, it was so really real. Well if it was so really real I don’t think you would have gotten that second shot out. No I suppose not.
Im gonna tell everyone and you’ll never get laid!
It’s Flushels, the toilet cleaning clown.
It’s time for sex. We’re going to have sex now. PREPARE FOR SEX.
JESUS Christ almighty! i knew u guys were a couple of perverts
Jesus Christ…Im lost!
josh- im here on an academic scholarship so when i say i need to study im serious that i need to study
cooper- and im serious when i say i need to clean out my bong!
josh- we’re like the hardy boys from hell!
Kick me in the Junk
Math awards…I knew you guys were smart.
my intestines are over a mile long…(talking to someone else) really…..yeah
my name is cliff brother of joe i got me some crack i want me some HOES!!let me hear you say yeah,YEAH, let me hear you say yeah, YEAH!!!!
My name is Cliff, brother of Joe, I got me some crack now I want me some hoe!
My name is Cliff, brother of Joe, I got me some crack, I need me a hoe!! Let me hear ya say yea!!
My name is Cliff, brother of Joe. I got me some crack. I want me some hoes!
my name’s not dinah anymore, its cobra.
My roommate is a depressive rock star. You are a candy ass, show tune singing high school cheerleader!
My roommate is depressive rock star. You are a candy-ass, show tune singing, high school cheerleader!
My word are my sperm, sprewing forth my tragic germ, I’m dying to kiss you, I soil the tissue.
My words are like sperm
No jimmy, repeat, no jimmy.
Now who the fuck are you fucking Kirt Loder. Now would you please piss off and shut my fucking door?
oh come on josh thats so fucking stupied
oh josh your so anal!
oh man josh aw thats so fucking stupied!!! my father is right im a fuck up a total fuck up
Papers, Josh! Where are the papers!?
Papers. Where are the papers, Josh. The papers!
Quick man! Kick me in the junk.
Rachel: Ohhh, you memorized the face book? Josh: No, my roommate did. He was jack-a…lacking…he was jackalackin’ around to it. Rachel: Hahaha, he was what? Kristin: Rachel! Come on! Rachel: I’ve gotta go…but I’ll see you around…Josh. Josh: No, yeah. Yeah yeah. No. No, yeah. I mean…YES. I’ll see each other around.
Ritalin’s good for studying math or science. Just don’t try to write English papers on it or it won’t make any sense.
Say there’s someone really depressed.. What would push him over the edge? You know, send him running for the razors… anything come to mind?
See I had a roomate, poor prick, killed himself. Yeah, I found the body, he slit his wrist, swallowed some pills, put a bag over his head, and jump from a bridge. It was a mess.
show me the muff!
Some people eat bugs …. ewwwwwwww ! * makes a funny ass face *
Some people eat bugs… eughhh.
some people eat bugs…….uck!!!!
Sometimes i just wanna hump this lamp (humps lamp) or fuck this couch! (fucks couch)
STOP! PLEASE! U GUYS!! rehearsal is over because this music is crap. its total crap
They hate it when you do this. [shoots gun at cops]
This is my brother’s Ritalin. Ritalin’s good for studying math or science, just don’t try to write English papers on it or it won’t make any sense. Enjoy that.
Van Damme! Van Damme! Van Damme! ok now we sound stupid
What good is sitting alone in your room, come here the music plaaay, life is a caaabaret! oh FUCK ME!
what good is sittins alone in your room. hearing the children play. OH FUCK ME!!!!!!!
What’s You Get Arrested For Cliff? Attempted vehicular manslaughter . . . whatever the fuck that means!!!
Who are you fucking Kurt Loder so could you please piss of and shut my fucking door.
Yeah, if it was really so real, you wouldn’t have gotten that second shot off.
Yo! I know this real hot chick, her name is CARL
You 2 guys, are getting stoned again?
YOU CAN SUCK MY QUIET COCK!!
You can’t put this bong in the closet! This is a display bong!
You can’t sing show tunes and be depressed!
You know, I don’t get it. When I catch on fire, I remember to STOP, DROP and ROLL. I don’t go around screeeaaming like some chick!
you’re a pawn josh, stick it to the man, the revolution will not be telivised.
You’re not depressed…you’re not even Brittish!
You’re Rachel, right? Yeah how’d you know? Oh, the facebook.. Oh you memorized the facebook! No my friend was jack..lacking.. He was jackalacking around to it
Young man! Where have you been all night? Do you have any idea what time it is?
I love college. I love everything about it. The people. The Freedom. This room. This chair. Look at THIS chair.
You had sex last night, didn’t you?
That’s a nice shirt…..I didn’t have to do anything…to make it happen. It was like…time for sex, we’re gonna have sex now. Prepare for sex.
Your not even British!!!
Zeke: Hey Josh
Josh: Hey Zeke, what’s up?
Zeke: Nothing…got a rash on my balls
[singing] Life is a Cabaret…OH FUCK ME!
[Song]My words and my sperm…spewing forth my tragic germ
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Dead Man on Campus’: Quotes from the movie ‘Dead Man on Campus’