#1 Maybe this is heaven.
#2 In heaven there wouldn’t be dust everywhere.
#1- What are your qualifications? #2- Ah well… I attended Juilliard. I am a graduate of the Harvard Business School. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and I had a pretty good time during that. I’VE SEEN THE EXORCIST ABOUT 167 TIMES…AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT! Not to mention the fact that you are talking to a dead guy. Now what do you think? Am I qualified?
(kicks over a tree) NICE F****** MODEL!!! (honk honk)
1) Charles, I will not stop living and breathing art just because you need to relax. I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself. If you do not let me gut out this house, and make it my own, I will go insane, AND I WILL TAKE YOU WITH ME!
2) Yah, well, I guess the house could use a little re-modelling.
1) Coach I don’t think we survived the crash 2) How did you guess?
1) He said he would take me to the other side to find you. 2) No. Honey, we’re dead! 1) I want to be dead, too!
1)Handbook for the recently diseased? 2)Deceased. Adam, I don’t think we survived the crash.
1)Well, I like this house. We can build you a dark room in the basement. 2)My whole life is a dark room. One…big…dark…room.
1. Are you a ghost??
2. ‘m the ghost with the most babe.
1. Honey we’re dead. 2. I want to be dead too.
1. Look- Ozzy and Harriet. 2.Ewww.
1: Maybe this is heaven.
2: In heaven there wouldn’t be dust everywhere
1: We’re very unhappy.
2: What did you expect? You’re dead!
1: What are your qualifications?
2: Ah. Well… I attended Juilliard… I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT… NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY… NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?!? You think I’m qualified?
1: What happened to the people who lived here?
2: Oh, they died. Hey, look, an indoor outhouse!
1:I’ll get you your own dark room. 2:My whole life is a dark room. One, big, dark room.
5
A little gasoline… blowtorch… no problem.
Ah. Well… I attended Juilliard… I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT… NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY… NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?!? You think I’m qualified?
Alex: What’re your qualifications?
Beetlejuice: Well, I attended Jiulliard. I’ve travelled extensively. I lived through the Black Plague, I had a pretty good time during that . I’ve seen ‘The Exorcist’ about a hundred and sixty-seven times, and it keeps gettin’ funnier every single time I see it! Not to mention the fact that you’re talkin’ to a dead guy! Now, what do you think?! You think I’m qualified?
And look at that kitchen. You’re finally going to be able to cook a decent meal.
Are you gross under there? Are you like night of the living dead under there?
ATTENTION KMART SHOPPERS!
be afraid be very afraid
Because if I tell you, you tell your friends… your friends are callin’ me on the horn all the time… and I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and shit like that and it makes my life a HELL. OK? A living HELL.
Beetlegueis: Nice fucking model!
beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice!
Beetlejuice: WHOA! I’m feelin a little ahh, anxious, if you know what I mean. I wonder where an average joe, an everyday guy like my self, can get a little action?
Cute couple. Look nice and stupid too.
Don’t mind her. She’s just upset that someone dropped a house on her sister.
Draw a door
Even thou it has been like 500 years…
…Where can a guy…an everyday Joe like myself get a little action?
If you know what I mean.
For Juno your caseworker!
Go ahead … make my millenium.
Go ahead, babe. Make my millennium! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Hey, woah, we must shop at the same store!!!
HOME! HOME! HOME!
Honey… we’re dead. I don’t think we have very much to worry about anymore.
I am alone. I am utterly alone.
I am alone. I am utterly alone. By the time you read this I will be gone. Having jumped, having plummited off the River Winter Bridge.
I forgot to lock the attic door
I have a chance to teach you something here. You have got to take the upper hand in all situations or people, whether they’re dead or alive, will walk all over you.
I heard. Tore your faces right off. It obviously doesn’t do any good to pull your heads off in front of people if they can’t see you!
I just want to let you two know that you’re welcome in our house anytime you like.
I myself am, strange and unusual…….
I myself am… strange and unusual.
I read your handbook. It says most ignore the strange and unusual. I myself am strange and unusual.
I read your handbook. It says most ignore the strange and unusual. I myself and strange and unusual.
I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself. If you don’t let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane and I will take you with me!
I’ll eat anything you want me to eat, I’ll swallow anything you want me to swallow, so come on down, I’ll chew on a dog!
I’ll eat anything you want me to eat. I’ll do anything you want me to do, so come on down. I’ll chew on a dog!
I’ll make some coffee.
I’m a graduate of the Harvard Business School.
I’m the ghost with the most babe.
I’m the ghost with the most, babe.
I’ve seen The Exorcist about a hundred and sixty-seven times and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it!
If I had known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have had my little ‘accident’
If i knew then what i know now, i would of had my little…..accident. (holds up slit wrists.)
If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have had my little… accident.
If i knew then what i know now, i wouldn’t of had my little…..accident. (holds up slit wrists.)
If I knew then what I know now… I wouldn’t have had my little… accident.
If you don’t let me gut out this house and make it my own, I WILL GO INSANE, AND I WILL TAKE YOU WITH ME!!!!
If you don’t let me gut out this house- and make it my own- I will go insane- and I will TAKE YOU WITH ME!
If you don’t let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane and I will take you with me
If you insist on frightening people – do it with your sculpture!
It’s Showtime!!!!!
Juno: I’m not your coach. He survived.
just, just trim it a little
learn to throw your voice, fool your friends, fun at parties
Let’s turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.
Lydia – are you gross under there? Are you Night of the Living Dead under there, like all bloody veins and puss?!
Lydia you’re a flake.
Lydia, I have a chance to teach you something here. You have got to take the upper hand in all situations or people, whether they’re dead or alive, will walk all over you.
Lydia: Delia hates it…(turns to see a huge spider on the staircase). I could live here.
My whole life is a dark room. One big dark room.
Never trust the living!
Nice fuckin’ model!
Nice FUCKING model! *honk honk*
NICE FUCKING MODEL!!!!!HONK HONK
Nice house. Bad roof. Goood parking.
Nice house. Bad roof. Gooood parking.
Oh what am I worried about? (Character’s name), you can’t even change a tire.
Oh what am I worried about? Otho, you can’t even change a tire.
Oh, great you read my maure.
Oh, great, you read my maure.
Oh, look, an indoor outhouse.
Open the door you dead people, or we will knock it down and drag you out by the ropes you hung yourself with.
Open this door, you dead people! Or we’ll drag you out by the ropes you hanged yourselves with!
Rich dude’s chick: Ghosts?
The mother: In designer sheets, no less.
Stop it! You’re hurting them!
Sure, sure talk amongst yourselves.
That is what happens when you die, that is what happens when he dies [pointing to charred man, woman cut in half, etc.] and that is what happens when they die. It’s all very personal. And I’ll tell you something; if I knew then what I know now [shows her slit wrists] I wouldn’t have had my little accident.
That’s the lost souls room.
The whore house was my idea, I wanted him OUT of the picture.
There! You guys look terrific!!
They say the normal tend to ignore the strange and unusual. I, myself, am…strange and unusual.
They’re dead. It’s a little late to be neurotic.
This book reads like stereo instructions. Listen to this: Geographical and temporal perimeters. Functional perimeters vary from manifestation to manifestation.
This is my art and it is dangerous! You think I want to die like this?
This is my art and it is dangerous. Do you think I want to die like this?
Ugh. Deliver me from L.L. Bean.
We’re not completely helpless, Barbara. I’ve been reading that book and there’s a word for people in our situation: ghosts.
Well, looks like I’m next. Good thing too, I have an appointment with GQ in about an hour (gets stuff sprinkled on him and his head shrinks) Hey! HEY! STOP IT! STOP IT! WOAH! WOAAHH! Hey, this might be a good look for me…
What is this place?
Yes I love this man of mine
Yes, I love that man of mine
You’ve been to Saturn? Sandworms, mmh? I hate ’em myself.
your lucky you didnt die in italy
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Beetlejuice’: Quotes from the movie ‘Beetlejuice’
a lot of those quotes are wrong.
and i mean a lot. im not trying to be mean at all im just telling you that most of them should be fixed.
Here is what they should read, I know this entire movie by heart:
#1 Maybe this is heaven….
#2 In heaven there wouldn’t be dust on everything.
#1- Adam:What are your qualifications?
#2- Beetlejuice:Ah well… I attended Juilliard. I am a graduate of the Harvard Business School. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and I had a pretty good time during that. I’VE SEEN THE EXORCIST ABOUT 167 TIMES…AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT! Not to mention the fact that you are talking to a dead guy. Now what do you think? Am I qualified?
(kicks over a tree) NICE F****** MODEL!!! (honk honk)
1)Delia: Charles, I will not stop living and breathing art just because you need to relax. I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself. If you do not let me gut out this house, and make it my own, I will go insane, AND I WILL TAKE YOU WITH ME!
2)Charles: Yah, well, I guess the house could use a little re-modeling.
1) Dead Football Player: Coach I don’t think we survived the crash
2) Juno: How did you guess?
1) Lydia: He said he would take me to the other side to find you.
2)Barbara No. Lydia, we’re dead!
1)Lydia: I want to be dead, too!
2)Barbara & Adam: NO!
1)Adam: Handbook for the recently diseased?
2)Deceased.
Barbara: Adam, I don’t think we survived the crash.
1)Well, I like this house.
We can build you a dark room in the basement. 2)My whole life is a dark room. One…big…dark…room.
Delia: Well you were miserable in New York City and now you will be miserable out here in the sticks. At least someone’s life hasn’t been upheaved.
1. Are you a ghost??
2. ‘m the ghost with the most babe.
1. Lydia we’re dead. 2. I want to be dead too.
1. Look- Ozzy and Harriet. 2.Ewww.
1: Maybe this is heaven.
2: In heaven there wouldn’t be dust on everything.
1: We’re very unhappy.
2: What did you expect? You’re dead!
1: What are your qualifications?
2: Ah. Well… I attended Juilliard… I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT… NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY… NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?!? You think I’m qualified?
1: What happened to the people who lived here?
2: They died. Oh, look, an indoor outhouse!
1:We’ll build you a dark room in the basement. 2:My whole life is a dark room. One, big, dark room.
5
A little gasoline… blowtorch… no problem.
Ah. Well… I attended Juilliard… I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT… NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY… NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?!? You think I’m qualified?
What’re your qualifications?
Beetlejuice: Well, I attended Jiulliard. I’ve travelled extensively. I lived through the Black Plague, I had a pretty good time during that . I’ve seen ‘The Exorcist’ about a hundred and sixty-seven times, and it keeps gettin’ funnier every single time I see it! Not to mention the fact that you’re talkin’ to a dead guy! Now, what do you think?! You think I’m qualified?
Charles: And look at that kitchen. You’re finally going to be able to cook a decent meal.
Are you gross under there? Are you like night of the living dead under there? Like all bloody veins and pus?
ATTENTION KMART SHOPPERS!
Because if I tell you, you tell all your friends… your friends are callin’ me on the horn all the time… and I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and shit like that and it makes my life a HELL. OK? A living HELL.
Betleguese: Nice fucking model!
beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice!
Beetlejuice: WHOA! I’m feelin a little ahh, anxious, if you know what I mean. I wonder where an average joe, an everyday guy like my self, can get a little action?
Beetlejuice: Cute couple. Look nice and stupid too.
Otho: Don’t mind her. She’s just upset because somebody dropped a house on her sister.
Adam:Draw a door.
Barbara: Draw a door?
…Where can a guy…an everyday Joe like myself get a little action?
If you know what I mean.
For Juno your caseworker!
Go ahead … make my millenium.
Hey Hermano, Look at us were simpatico here, I mean we even shop at the same store.
HOME! HOME! HOME!
Honey… we’re dead. I don’t think we have very much to worry about anymore.
I am alone. I am utterly alone.
I am alone. I am utterly alone. By the time you read this I will be gone. Having jumped, having plummited off the Winter River Bridge.
I forgot to lock the attic door….
I have a chance to teach you something here. You have got to take the upper hand in all situations or people, whether they’re dead or alive, will walk all over you. OPEN UP!
Juno:I heard, Tore your faces right off. It obviously doesn’t do you any good to pull your heads off in front of people if they can’t see you!
Adam: So we should start more simply?
Juno: Start simply do what ya know, practice.
I just want to let you two know that you’re welcome at our house anytime you like.
I myself am, strange and unusual…….
I read your handbook. It says most people ignore the strange and unusual. I myself am strange and unusual.
I’ll make some coffee.
I’m the ghost with the most babe.
Miss Argentina: If I had known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have had my little ‘accident’
If i knew then what i know now, i would of had my little…..accident. (holds up slit wrists.)
If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have had my little… accident.
If i knew then what i know now, i wouldn’t of had my little…..accident. (holds up slit wrists.)
If I knew then what I know now… I wouldn’t have had my little… accident.
If you don’t let me gut out this house and make it my own, I WILL GO INSANE, AND I WILL TAKE YOU WITH ME!!!!
If you don’t let me gut out this house- and make it my own- I will go insane- and I will TAKE YOU WITH ME!
If you don’t let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane and I will take you with me
Bernard:If you insist on frightening people – do it with your sculpture!
It’s Showtime!!!!!
Juno: I’m not your coach…He survived.
just, just trim it a little
learn to throw your voice, fool your friends, fun at parties
Let’s turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.
Lydia – are you gross under there? Are you Night of the Living Dead under there, like all bloody veins and puss?!
Bernard: Delia you’re a flake. You have always been a flake. And if you insist on frightening people do it with your sculptures.
Lydia, I have a chance to teach you something here. You have got to take the upper hand in all situations or people, whether they’re dead or alive, will walk all over you.
Lydia: Delia hates it…(turns to see a huge spider on the staircase). I could live here.
My whole life is a dark room. One big dark room.
Never trust the living!
Nice fuckin’ model!
Nice FUCKING model! *honk honk*
NICE FUCKING MODEL!!!!!HONK HONK
Nice house. Bad roof. Goood parking.
Nice house. Bad roof. Gooood parking.
Oh what am I worried about? Otho, you can’t even change a tire.
Oh what am I worried about? Otho, you can’t even change a tire.
Oh, great you read my mind.
Oh, great, you read my mind.
Oh, look, an indoor outhouse.
Open the door you dead people, or we will knock it down and drag you out by the ropes you hanged yourselves with.
Bernard’s wife: Ghosts?
Deilia: In designer sheets, no less.
Stop it! You’re hurting them!
Sure, sure talk amongst yourselves.
That is what happens when YOU die, that is what happens when he dies [pointing to charred man, woman cut in half, etc.] and that is what happens when they die. It’s all very personal. And I’ll tell you something; if I knew then what I know now [shows her slit wrists] I wouldn’t have had my little accident.
That’s the lost souls room. A room for ghosts that have been exorcised.
The whore house was my idea, I wantBeetlejuice OUT of the picture.
They say the normal tend to ignore the strange and unusual. I, myself, am…strange and unusual.
They’re dead. It’s a little late to be neurotic.
This book reads like stereo instructions. Listen to this: Geographical and temporal perimeters. Functional perimeters vary from manifestation to manifestation.
This is my art and it is dangerous! Do you think i want to die like this?
Ugh. Deliver me from L.L. Bean.
We’re not completely helpless, Barbara. I’ve been reading that book and there’s a word for people in our situation: Ghosts.
Well, looks like I’m next. Good thing too, I have an photoshoot for GQ in about an hour and a half (gets stuff sprinkled on him and his head shrinks) Hey! HEY! STOP IT! STOP IT! WOAH! WOAH! WOAAHH! Hey, this might be a good look for me…
What is this place?
Yes, I love that man of mine
You’ve been to Saturn? Hey I’ve been Saturn. SANDWORMS! Ya hate em right? I hate ‘em myself
Things seem pretty quiet here, you should thank god you didn’t die in Italy.
Well, That’s as much I wanted to correct. Otherwise they seemed fine.