Stupid Sayings and Quotes

The best really stupid sayings and quotes from bumper stickers, T-shirts, & graffiti.Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie!’… till you can find a rock.

Sex on television can’t hurt you… unless you fall off.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Drink ’till she’s cute, but stop before the wedding

Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines



Page Topic: Stupid Sayings and Quotes



Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol

I intend to live forever – so far, so good

I love defenseless animals, especially in gravy.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If you ain’t makin’ waves, you ain’t kickin’ hard enough!
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

I got a gun for my wife, best trade I’ve ever made.

So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that cute, honey!

Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.

Mental backup in progress – Do Not Disturb!

Mind Like A Steel Trap – Rusty And Illegal In 37 States

Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.

Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.

If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder…

24 hours in a day … 24 beers in a case …coincidence?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

Page Topic: A collection of the best really dumb, funny, stupid, hilarious, cute and witty sayings, quotes, bumper stickers, t-shirts and graffiti humorous one-liners and sayings.

144 thoughts on “Stupid Sayings and Quotes”

  1. First off, sorry for the lemon thing, but…

    When life gives you lemons, throw lemons back at life and tell it to make its own damn lemonade.

    Again, sorry.

  2. Actually, I wouldn’t want him on my doorstep wearing nothing but a bow for Christmas….I would be disappointed because it’s cold out! But then again….I WOULD get to warm him up…..”

  3. NO NO NO!!!
    The real lemon joke:

    ADHD individual: “When life gives you lemons…hmmmm, I wanna go ride my bike” :)

  4. life is NOT like a box of chocolates, Its more like a jar of jalapenos what you do today might burn your ass tomarrow

  5. “Books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn’t pay… so if you keep reading, you’ll go broke.”

    “If you see light and the end of the tunnel, it might be an oncoming dragon.”

    “If you think things can’t get worse, it’s probably because you lack sufficient imagination.”

  6. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

  7. I hate when I wish on a star then I realized it was just an airplane.

    You have more issues than a magazine stand.

  8. when life gives you lemmons make apple juice then laugh while everyones tryna figure out what the hell you did. hahaha

  9. Paper beats rock huh? Well how about i throw a rock at you and you defend yourself with a piece of paper?

  10. Last Night I was looking up at the stars wondering… where the hell is my ceiling

    I’m not prejudice… I hate everyone equally

    I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

    You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you jump off a bridge, I laugh even harder

    I called your boyfriend gay and he slapped me with his purse

    Men are like slinkies. They bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

    There’s no such things as stupid questions, only stupid people who ask questions.

    I’m not random. I just have a lot of- HEY LOOK! A SQUIRELL!

  11. Your number of friends on Facebook is inversely proportional to your number of friends in real life!

  12. ohh. here is one of my favs. I ate my homework cuz my teacher said it was a piece of cake. – She lied

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